


The Light at the End of the Lightsaber

by Living_Free



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: A new hope, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Crack, Everyone hates palpatine, Fluff, Gen, Han correctly points out that Luke is a twink, Humor, M/M, Maul's constant references to a lack of butt, Obi Wan gets a pet, Okay so maybe palpatine can die, Post Revenge of the Sith, Slow Burn, because he sucks ass, he names it Anakin, old biddies living together, phantom butt syndrome, that Maul systematically ruins by simply existing, why are you booing me I'm right
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24960028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: The Force works in mysterious ways, Obi Wan realized as Maul stood across from him, taking up space in his house and showing a five year old Luke what a lightsaber was, and blabbing about all the dramatic things that Obi Wan was supposed to be telling him about Anakin.It wasn't supposed to be this way.And yet, just maybe, it could work.Obi Wan looked up. He hoped that Qui Gon wasn't too mad at him in Jedi Heaven.Note: He was.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul
Comments: 90
Kudos: 280





	1. Why Me, a Novel by Obi Wan Kenobi

Everyday, the twin suns of Tatooine roused the planet’s inhabitants as their unforgiving heat and glare bathed the arid landscape. On a planet where there rightly should have been nothing, life managed to endure, if not blossom. Despite the heat, their poor fortunes, and the shackles of poverty and drudgery holding them down, beings all across the planet would wake to face another day. 

Much like Obi Wan Kenobi was doing at the moment, plodding unhappily across the sandy hills of the desert. Briefly, he remembered how Anakin had railed at the sand, before pushing the memory down, lest it brought him to tears. One had to conserve water in the desert.

Obi Wan made his way down to the hill that crested over the Lars farmstead, as was his daily routine, and hiding himself behind a convenient boulder, settled in to watch as the inhabitants of the house roused themselves. Obi Wan felt a swoop of joy as little Luke, now five years old, tumbled out of the house beside his uncle, as they went to tend the moisture generators. The Jawas and traders would be by soon, all vying for the precious water that the Lars Farms generated. 

As though aware of the eyes on him, Luke looked around and spotted Obi Wan on his rock. “Uncle Owen!” Luke squeaked. “Look! It’s Old Ben! Hi Old Ben!”

Owen looked over and waved his fist at Obi Wan. “Luke, don’t wave at him.”

“Why not, uncle Owen? Old Ben is nice, he’s our neighbour.”

“Because we are feuding with him,” Owen explained. “Also, his name isn’t Old Ben, it’s just Ben.”

“What’s feudin’?” Luke asked innocently. 

“Fighting.”

“But fighting is bad,” Luke said seriously, regurgitating the wisdom of his aunt Beru. “You should hug and make up, like Aunt Beru made me and Biggs do last week.”

“I ain’t huggin’ no one,” Owen grunted. “Now hush up and go and rig the pipes behind the house.”

“M’kay,” Luke said, but not before giving ‘Ben’ one last wave before waddling away. Owen watched Luke toddle away before roughly gesturing for Obi Wan to come down. Using the Force, Obi Wan propelled himself forward into an inhumanly long jump, landing directly in front of Owen.

“Argh, darn varmint,” Owen cursed the man in front of him.

“Hello Owen,” Obi Wan greeted him cheekily.

“Here now,” Owen said angrily, “what’s all this about you stalking us? I thought I told you to stay well away from m’boy. He’s mine, and I’ll be the one raising him. I won’t have you people swoopin’ in and taking him away like-” Owen gulped, “like Anakin.”

Obi Wan fought back the tears that instinctively sprung to his eyes at the mention of his late apprentice. Better dead than what had become of him, after all, even if it was only for Obi Wan’s peace of mind. 

“I know he’s your child, Owen,” Obi Wan soothed the man. “I wouldn’t dream of separating him from you.”

“Then why’re you here?”

Obi Wan hesitated. “Of late, I’ve been feeling a rather strange disturbance in the Force. I can’t place it exactly, but I worry for Luke. You know that he is-”

“I know, he’s like his dad,” Owen said brusquely. “And I’ll thank you to keep that under wraps, seeing what it got Anakin. I won’t have m’lad going off and jumpin’ into all manner of hoo-ha.”

Obi Wan knew that there would be a day when he would have to step in to train Luke. The boy’s power would not be tamped down forever. But still, he had to pick his battles. “There is a disturbance in the force. I simply wanted to ensure Luke’s safety.”

“I can deal with ‘disturbances’,” Owen said, pointing at the evil looking, large grinder that routinely ground down the rocks and gravel that littered the path to the Lars household. Obi Wan winced. Well, at least he knew where to dispose of a body now. 

“Erm. Fine. I’ll be on my way then.”

“You do that,” Owen said. 

Obi Wan plodded away, back to his humble hut, but not before making another round of the surrounding area. Seeing nothing, he decided to go into the settlement of Mos Eisley, where, he supposed, his whole journey had started. 

The cantina was blessedly cool, and Obi Wan took a seat at the bar. “A virgin gizka slammer, if you would be so kind,” he murmured to the dainty barmaid, who giggled and sashayed away, her hips betraying the rather evil looking blaster hidden under her skirt. Ah, the signature Tatooine fashion. 

Obi Wa sighed and looked up, curious to take in the ever rotating clientele, and was rather unprepared for the rude shock of his life. 

“Water,” a much loathed voice rumbled. 

“Sure thing love,” the barmaid cooed, and Obi Wan watched in horror as Darth Maul flinched at the endearment. “Oh no, you’re sad,” the barmaid laughed. “Would you prefer that it had come from Jan over there?” She teased, pointing at the hulking hunk of a man at the other end of the bar.

Maul frowned. “Water, hold the love.”

The barmaid laughed, and Maul sank down in his chair, carefully adjusting his now cybernetic tushy. You never thought much of your fleshy, squishy, arse until it was gone. 

Obi Wan moved so that he was sitting beside Maul, who merely glared at him. “I would urge you to infest another planet.”

“Get bent,” Maul hissed back, taking a vicious verbal swipe at him. 

“Not very aloof and sith-like of you,” Obi Wan parried. 

“If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t been sith-like in quite some time,” Maul dodged. “Not since someone took most of my bum off.”

“I wouldn’t have had to if someone hadn’t killed my master.”

Maul peered evilly at him. “Touche,” he muttered, and took a sip of his ice water, a true hydro-homie. Obi Wan kept his eye on Maul while he took a careful glug of his gizka slammer. “Must you hold my gaze while you drink?” Maul asked lightly. “It could be read as erotic.”

“I trust that you know that it is not,” Obi Wan replied. “I feel only loathing towards you.”

“And yet here we sit.”

“Here we sit.”

They sat in silence, sipping away. “Why are you here?” Obi Wan asked. The last thing he needed now was an agent of Palpatine on his tail. He needed to keep Luke safe. 

“Searching for meaning,” Maul hummed. “Can’t be a sith, can’t stand the jedi, can’t keep a brother, can’t be properly evil. It’s been one existential crisis after another for little old me. Also, my ship decided to get wrecked and I just happened to be in the bum end of the galaxy.”

Obi Wan snorted. “You’re plenty evil.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“What’re you going to do now?”

“Might be a teacher,” Maul mused. “Teach the art of the blade and the like. I could be an engineer. I’m a dashed good mechanic. Made my own legs, don’t you know.”

“Oh lovely,” Obi Wan winced, not keen on the idea of young minds being exposed to Maul. Although, time seemed to have mellowed the man out quite a bit. Failure could do that. 

“Might duel you,” Maul suggested offhandedly. 

Eek. “I wish you wouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve things to do.”

“Like what?”

Like watching over one of the two children of his late apprentice, the potential saviours of the galaxy, Obi Wan did not say. Instead, he opted for, “Why didn’t you go back to your master?”

“He’s a twat.”

“Do tell.”

“He never meant to share power, y’know. He only wanted a good little soldier, an obedient attack hound. All the guts, none of the glory. It’s not supposed to be that way. One master, one apprentice, sharing the burdens, until the apprentice grows to take over. He would have never let the natural order take place. Hence, he is a twat.”

Hell hath no fury like a Zabrak spurned, Obi Wan thought. “So you’re a free agent now.”

“Oh rather.”

Obi Wan looked curiously at Maul. “How are you so well spoken? I didn’t think you actually spoke, you know. Just growled.”

Maul looked incredibly offended. “Excuse you, I went to school. And my nurse droid was simply insistent that I spoke impeccably.”

Oh no, that was sad. Obi Wan stood up. “Well, I sensed a disturbance in the Force, so I came down. Seeing as you’re now more of an annoyance than a disturbance, I’ll be on my way now.”

“Ta ta,” Maul said, waving glibly. 

Slightly shaken by the encounter, Obi Wan stepped out, and almost instantly walked into Owen and Luke. “Oh my,” he said.

Luke beamed up at him. “Hi Ben!”

Obi Wan smiled tensely. “Good day to you, young Luke. And to you, Owen. Might I suggest taht we move rapidly in the other direction? There is likely to be trouble here-”

No sooner than he had spoken did Obi Wan sense Maul’s presence behind him. Luke’s jaw dropped at the sight of the Zabrak. “Wowie! I really like your tattoos, mister!”

Maul was staring at Luke in a mixture of horror and fascination, no doubt picking up on the boy’s extreme force-sensitivity. “Thanks.” He looked at Obi Wan with an evil grin. “I didn’t know that you had a kid.”

“I don’t,” Obi Wan groaned. 

Owen looked between the two and came to a hideously wrong conclusion. “I see that we’ve interrupted these gents’ date,” he said to Luke. “We’d best be off.”

“Oh my god, no, he’s not my date,” Obi Wan whinged. 

“Why must you deny our love,” Maul grinned evilly. 

Luke giggled. “Mister Ben, is this your boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Obi Wan glared at an unrepentant Maul, who was now sporting a smile the size of Coruscant. Evil, ugly, ex-sith, Obi Wan thought angrily. “Why’re they calling you ‘Ben’?” Maul asked. “Last I knew, that wasn’t your name.”

“It’s a nickname,” Obi Wan gritted out. 

“Come on Luke,” Owen said, sounding amused, “let’s leave these two to their little date. Ben, I’ll be seeing you around.”

“Bye Mister Ben! Bye Ben’s boyfriend!” Luke called, as his uncle whisked him away. 

Obi Wan sighed and looked over at a practically glowing Maul. “Oh my god, the Force does work in strange ways,” Maul said. “It has led me to that really cute kid who may or may not be your kid.”

“Not. My. Kid.”

“Still, The Force has led me here for a reason,” Maul said thoughtfully. “I have met you and the mystery kid who happens to be very force sensitive for a reason.”

“It really could just be a coincidence.”

“Well, it looks like my life has meaning again as I unravel the mystery of the powerful little boy,” Maul said, clapping his hands together decisively. “Time to set up base. I wonder what the property prices are like here.”

Obi Wan groaned as he quickly followed Maul into a property agency. This could not end well.


	2. Wherein Maul Finds Purpose

“So.”

Obi Wan looked mournfully at Maul, who was apparently having another bright idea. 

“I could just live in the desert for free instead of renting space in the city, yeah? I would also have the freedom to practice lightsaber drills.”

“I suppose,” Obi Wan muttered, quickly realizing where this was going. 

“We would be neighbours.”

“Quite possible.”

“I would also be close to Destiny Boy.”

“Luke is five years old,” Obi Wan gritted out. “You don’t know that one force sensitive boy is meant to affect your destiny.” Lies, lies, lies. 

“Lies,” Maul smirked. “You’re obviously full of it. I don’t know why, or how, but I’ll find out everything. I’m very good at that kind of thing. Very industrious, see.”

Obi Wan looked incredulously at the smiling Zabrak. To think that he had once feared this enormous dweeb. 

And so it came to be that Maul decided to tow his otherwise useless ship beside Obi Wan’s little hut to ostensibly ‘keep an eye on him’, but in reality was a huge busybody. 

Well. Half-body.

It soon became a routine that Obi Wan would wake up, and see Maul in his ship first thing in the morning through the portside windows. He also had the faintly amusing sight of Maul flinging his upper body around the ship like a pinball without his cybernetic legs. 

Luke also came around a lot more often, sent by his aunt Beru to give various boiled veggies to the unfortunate bachelors. Apparently, the Lars family found it rather amusing that Obi Wan and Maul were ‘dancing around each other’. This also resulted in Luke discovering that Obi Wan’s name was not actually Ben, and that mid-thirties was not particularly old, and Obi Wan was therefore undeserving of the name “Old Ben”. 

“So it was a double lie,” Luke pouted as he handed over some boiled druble roots. 

“Awful of him,” Maul agreed.

Obi Wan glared, and purposefully oversteeped his tea. Because that was something that they did now. They had tea and taught Luke his alphabet. 

Today, Maul was being even more evil than usual, and used the force to levitate a lemon towards himself for his tea. Luke’s eyes bugged out of his head in shock, and Obi Wan could have committed murder. 

“Oh that little old thing? Why yes, it’s called the Force, your Uncle Obi can use it as well-”

Luke whipped around and ran over to hug Obi Wan’s leg. “Uncle Obi! Can you show me? Please?”

“Why don’t you ask,” here Obi Wan had to swallow his disbelief, “Uncle Maul to show you? Troublemaker that he is.”

“Sure, sure. Let me tell you all about the Sith-”

Obi Wan squawked.

“-and their, er, friends, the Jedi.”

Obi Wan carefully monitored Maul’s storytelling, and noted Luke’s growing confusion. “It doesn’t sound like the sith and jedi were friends,” he observed.

“They weren’t actually, I was lying,” Maul said. “But the two can coexist. I’m a sith, see? And your Uncle Obi is a jedi. And yet, here I sit, drinking his tea, and he can do nothing about it.” Maul took a spiteful sip. “Nothing at all.”

Luke giggled and ran over to sit on Obi Wan’s lap, as Maul’s legs were rather too metallic. “And when are you two going to get married?”

Obi Wan felt some vindication as Maul choked on his tea. “We’re not getting married, Luke,” Obi Wan informed him.

“But it would be better,” Luke argued. “Uncle Maul wouldn’t have to live on a ship, and he could just move in here with you! And you could be together forever and ever!”

“Yes, Kenoobi,” Maul grinned horrifically, “why are you so opposed to having this hot half-bod around?” He said, gesturing to his own torso.

“Honestly. I should have cut a bit higher that day,” Obi Wan grumbled, as Luke’s jaw dropped.

“YOU CUT OFF UNCLE MAUL’S LEGS!?”

Maul, shithead that he was, merely leaned back in his seat and watched Obi Wan scramble to tell their tale.

***

Many hours later, and Luke was finally convinced that Obi Wan was not an awful leg-cutting cad. “So now you and uncle Maul are friends?”

“I guess,” Obi Wan sighed. 

“Even though Uncle Maul’s daddy killed all your Jedi friends. And Uncle Maul killed your daddy.”

“I’m actually fairly sure that my proper daddy is still alive on Dathomir. When I was living there, there was an old bloke who looked a lot like me. He also kept winking at my mum,” Maul said to no one in particular. 

“They were our masters, Luke, not our daddies,” Obi Wan said gently. “Although, I did consider Qui Gon as my father figure. Until someone decided to go on a murder spree.”

“You severed my spine,” Maul reminded him. “I have no bum.”

“But how do you go to the potty?” Luke asked curiously. Obi Wan, who had privately wondered the same thing, looked up.

“Colostomy bag,” Maul replied. “Also I don’t really need to eat much, or that often. I subsist on the hate and raw power of the dark side.”

“Cool,” Luke said, as Obi Wan groaned. Luke looked up at Obi Wan again. “If you’re a jedi, and uncle Maul is a sith, then what am I?” He asked innocently. 

“You can be whatever you want,” Maul said dotingly. 

“No, you are absolutely not allowed to be a sith,” Obi Wan glared at Maul, who went back to feigning innocence. 

“So you can teach me how to float things? And use the laser swords that you and uncle Maul have?”

At this, both Maul and Obi Wan started. “How did you know about those?”

Luke shrugged. “I saw you fighting the other day. It was really early, and uncle Owen wanted me out of the way because it was trade day, and the Jawas keep trying to make me a part of their crew.”

Maul tutted. “You should slaughter them.”

“Noooo,” Luke gasped, horrified. 

Obi Wan levitated a spoon to whack Maul with for espousing evil. Luke admired Obi Wan’s revenge, and piped up, “Uncle Obi, can you teach me to do that?”

Obi Wan beamed. “Of course, Luke. It would be my pleasure.”

Perhaps not all hope was lost. 

***

Predictably, Owen went bantha-shit crazy when Luke came home and told him that Uncle Obi was going to teach him things from Jedi school. He was even more cheesed off when he found out that poor, legless, Uncle Maul was actually a prolific blademaster. 

Also a sith.

Which was how Owen ended up barging up the sandy hill to yell at the unlikely couple - “we are not a couple!” - at the bum-crack of dawn.

Something Maul was sure to remind everyone that he did not have.

“Why can’t you leave my family in peace?” Owen roared. “You’re going to get Luke killed, the same way that you people took Anakin to his death!”

“Er,” Maul interjected, “did you not know about Anakin?”

After the truth came out, Owen required a stiff drink. Unluckily for all of them, Obi Wan only kept tea in the house, and Maul only imbibed that must pure of liquids - water. 

“A-anakin is not dead?” Owen wheezed weakly. “He’s this V-vader bloke?”

Obi Wan glared at Maul from where he was rubbing Owen’s shoulders. “I’m afraid so, Owen. I’m so sorry, I wish you didn’t have to find out this way.”

“It’s not as though you were going to tell him,” Maul pointed out. “You’re the Angst Master, Keeper of Secrets. You’d probably have made a whole to-do about it, made it more difficult for everyone involved.”

“Anakin was the one who killed all the Jedi younglings, then?” Owen whispered. “All those children?”

Obi Wan covered his face in shame and horror at the memory of that awful night. All his loved ones, all those poor children, dead at Anakin’s hand. 

“So you know that he may well come for Luke, then, to either try and mould him into a dark acolyte, or just to...eliminate the competition.”

Owen gasped. “No!”

“We won’t let that happen, Owen,” Obi Wan reassured him. “He doesn’t even know that Luke and Leia are alive, much less under my watch. They will grow up safe, but it is imperative that Luke be trained. Leia is in a position where she can affect a great deal of change, but Luke-”

Owen gulped, and dabbed at his ruddy cheeks, wet with tears. “I- I’ll talk to Beru,” he said. “You’ll be the one teaching Luke then? You’ll teach him everything?”

“Everything that I know,” Obi Wan solemnly promised, the words resonating promise through the Force. Even Owen shuddered as the intensity of the feeling behind those words washed over him. It felt heavy, and solid, and right. 

“Everything I know too,” Maul (non-)butted in. “Ah! I finally see my destiny panning out! I am to teach the Child of Destiny in order to overthrow the evil Empire! Clarity is so nice.”

Owen looked askance at Obi Wan, who was quietly seething. “Er, Kenobi.”

“Yes?”

“Who exactly is this guy?”

Obi Wan looked at a beaming Maul who had fished out his very first, baby training lightsaber, and was grinning terribly at him. Poor chap, he wasn’t exactly movie star material. 

“He’s alright, Owen. He’s alright.”

***

Later that evening, Obi Wan sat with Maul hashing out lesson plans. “Hey, Kenobi.”

Obi Wan looked up, a strange, thick, soupy feeling pooling in his gut. He wasn’t going to like this. “Yeah?”

“Who’s Leia?”

Called it.

***


	3. How To Sith 101

“So Luke has a twin sister?” Maul was gawking at Obi Wan, who for his part, was looking absolutely Done with everything. Let the galaxy burn. Maybe then he would be at peace. “Were you ever planning on telling me? Or Luke?”

“Eventually,” Obi Wan winced. 

“Dude, that’s so messed up,” Maul said. “Twins are special, I should know. They’re stronger together, not apart. There’s a bond that they have, especially if they are force sensitive. Even the twins that don’t make the Jedi cutoff have some lingering force-sensitivity for each other, you know.”

Obi Wan felt like a clod. Of course Maul would know. Savage was his twin brother. It was one of the few times that Maul had been properly happy, to know that he belonged somewhere. He had never thought to ask about when he had lost his twin. 

“Maul...I had never thought- I’m sorry,” Obi Wan said gently. “I had forgotten that you had a brother.”

“Hmm,” Maul hummed. “Savage.” He couldn’t talk about his brother now, with his death still so recent in his mind. He wasn’t supposed to mourn this way, he was supposed to use the pain and make himself stronger. The rage born from suffering was supposed to break his chains. Instead, he couldn’t help but feel tired and numb whenever he thought of his brother. 

They sat in silence for some time, before Obi Wan spoke again. “But Leia is with Bail Organa now. She will be raised to be the voice of the Old Republic, to start and lead the revolution in the senate.”

Maul stared at Obi Wan. “What revolution?”

Obi Wan sighed. “There is a significant portion of senators who are unhappy with serving under the banner of the Empire. They know the truth - that Palpatine engineered this, and that the Jedi were slaughtered. Their people know this. They call themselves the Rebellion.”

Maul whistled lowly. “Wow. You guys are dramatic.” Obi Wan threw a grape at him, which was caught and gobbled up. “But no one is going to train the girl? You’re pinning your hopes on the boy? Is this sexism? Because I’m not about that, I’m an enlightened kind of chap. Also, I loved my mum.”

Obi Wan gaped. “No it is not sexism! Also, your mum?”

“Yeah? What, did you think that I just popped into existence all tattooed and evil? No, that was my mum. So, why did you give the girl to the Alderaanians?”

Obi Wan sighed heavily. “Because I couldn’t tell them apart, alright? They were both swaddled, and they looked really similar!”

“Dinkus,” Maul opined. “So now we have to factor in that there is a girl-saviour too. Have you thought about how you’re going to tell Luke this?”

“I had thought to let the Force guide them into their first organic meeting, for it is their destiny-’

“Or, you could holo-call them,” Maul suggested. At Obi Wan’s shocked look, Maul snorted. “Dude, you’re so dumb.”

“Fine, we’ll tell Luke,” Obi Wan agreed. “But we can’t do it now. When he is older, we can tell him the full truth of the matter. Everything will be in context then. Otherwise, he may never understand why he and Leia were separated.”

“Fine,” Maul said, nodding. There was sense in that. “The truth can wait. Now how about these lesson plans?”

***

Luke took to their dual Jedi/Sith training like a sand-fish to some sand. He was a natural at channelling his force abilities, and was a quick study in following his Force-driven instincts. His reflexes were clearly Anakin’s, Obi Wan thought with a sharp pang in his heart. 

In other respects, Luke tended to favour Maul’s training. Never one for introspective meditation, Luke took better to Maul’s method of actively channeling his emotions and then unleashing them in targeted ways. Maul also insisted on teaching him more practical things, such as maths and robotics, because as he put it, “we’re not on Coruscant anymore, Noobi Wan.”

Luke understood early on that there was a reason for his separate training, and that he could not tell any of his friends about Obi Wan and Maul. Obi Wan was especially fierce in telling Luke that he must never, ever, display his Force abilities to anyone other than the two of them. 

Maul sent this message home by telling Luke lengthy tales about how the Emperor would take him away from his home, to mould him into a cold, unfeeling, loveless weapon that was only capable of being a thoughtless attack hound, a rootless creature that was ultimately to be pitied. 

He got a tongue lashing for that speech after Luke ran to Obi Wan in tears, devastated that Uncle Maul had once led such a sad life, why did bad things happen to the people he loved, he hated the emperor, he was a bad man who could ‘get rekt’, as Uncle Maul said.

“But I’m right!” Maul defended himself, as Obi Wan very purposefully did not give him pudding after dinner that night. “I can’t help it if he realized that I was projecting!”

Obi Wan sighed and pushed the pudding cup to Maul. “It’s better that he knows now, I suppose,” he conceded. 

When Luke wasn’t training with Maul and Obi Wan, he maintained his civilian guise of a moisture farmer’s nephew, and tried to avoid being kidnapped by Jawas, who still thought that he was one of their misplaced younglings. The perils of being tiny. 

“You’ll grow,” Obi Wan said. “Your dad was small too. Then, of course, puberty hit, and he grew a foot taller than me.”

“Dad was a Jedi, right?” Luke asked, his tone subdued. “One of the Jedi who died during Order 66?”

Obi Wan nodded. It was the closest thing to the truth for now. “Yes. He was a prolific Jedi. One of the best. I trained him, you know.”

Luke looked at Obi Wan curiously. “There’s more, isn’t there?” He asked quietly. “There’s something you’re not telling me.” 

Obi Wan looked taken aback at Luke’s astuteness. He felt the boy’s reach in the Force, and it took him all his power to not stumble. At only ten years old, Luke was capable of reaching out to touch minds. “Luke,” he said firmly, “you’re reaching for my mind.”

Luke cocked his head curiously. “Oh, am I? Sorry, I didn’t notice,” he said, and Obi Wan felt Luke’s presence recede. “I should probably focus on that more, I don’t want another Uncle Maul Situation.”

Obi Wan groaned. “What happened now?”

“Well, Uncle Maul was Thinking real loud, and I was just there, you know? I kind of got caught up in his memories of his mum, and his brother, and what the emperor did to him. Then I got really sad and I accidentally melted the pipe I was holding, and Uncle Maul yelled at me loads.”

“Mind peeping is rude!” Maul yelled from the kitchen. 

“Sorry,” Luke yelled back.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it! More focus!” Maul demanded, and came charging out of the kitchen, throwing little rocks at Luke that the boy got busy dodging. “Expect the unexpected! Always be prepared for an attack!”

“We were having a moment,” Obi Wan said, as Luke flipped around Maul’s attacks, coming to hide behind Obi Wan. He gathered Luke close and met the boy’s gaze. “Luke, you were right. There are things that we aren’t telling you right now about your family. But please believe me that it is only for your safety, and theirs. When you are old enough to fully guard your mind from attack, I will tell you everything.”

Luke nodded. “I understand. Just…” He paused and looked up at Obi Wan. “Is- is my dad really dead? Because I...I can kind of feel _someone_ out there, like they’re waiting for me.”

Obi Wan reeled, and looked at Maul. What were they supposed to do? Luckily - or not - Maul came to the ‘rescue’.

“Good prescience skills. But you’re only half right. There is someone out there, it’s just not your dad.”

“Oh,” Luke said, surprised that Maul had actually straight up told him the truth. “So there is someone else? Like...my mum?”

“Not your mum,” Maul said. “You have a sibling. A twin sister. That’s who you’ve been picking up on. There is a force bond between all twins. It’s stronger in force sensitive pairs.”

Obi Wan caught Luke as the boy tumbled backwards in shock. “T-twin sister?” 

“Luke-” Obi Wan started, but was silenced by Maul.

“Hold on, Kenoob, let me deal with this.” He fixed Luke with his sharp gaze. “Yes, you have a twin sister. You were separated at birth for your safety. Does it suck? Massively. Twins should not be separated. But your Uncle Obi had his back to the wall and it was the only thing that he could do. 

“The emperor knew about a set of force sensitive twins that were supposed to be born, to your father specifically. If he found the both of you, then it would have been game over. Two force sensitive kids with slightly different birthdays, on completely different planets? That’s a common enough occurrence. But a pair of force sensitive twins, the _same age_ as the ones he knew were going to be born? That’s too much of a coincidence.”

Luke was shaking now, in shock and at the implications of Maul’s words. “Luke,” Obi Wan said gently, cradling the boy, “Luke, please believe me, I only did what I thought was right.”

Luke allowed himself to be cradled, like a baby that he no longer was. There was a whole galaxy out there, and an emperor that would like nothing more to see him either dead or evil. Even with the promise of years of training, he couldn’t help but feel scared. 

“Hey!” Maul yelled, smacking the table, jarring Obi Wan and Luke out of their trances. “What did I say about fear?”

“Use your fear to build your rage. Use your rage to fuel your power,” Luke repeated dutifully. “Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force will free me.”

“Good, now with more passion, if you please,” Maul sniffed. 

Luke rallied, and straightened. “I have no fear, now I have purpose. My purpose will show me power. Through power, I will gain victory. Through victory, my chains will be broken. The Force will free me!”

Both men felt the whiplash of Luke’s power as it concentrated within him, giving him fuel for his goal. “I’m going to find my sister!” Luke vowed. “I’m going to end the emperor, and I won’t let him control my life!” 

Obi Wan held Luke close, and glared at Maul. “You just had to teach him the code of the sith, didn’t you?”

“It wasn’t like peace and clouds, and spun sugar - or whatever you Jedi believe in - was going to cut it,” Maul defended himself. “Face it Kenoob, he needs passion and purpose.”

Obi Wan looked sternly at Luke. “Young man, no more Sith for you today.”

Luke calmed down at Obi Wan’s tone. “Yes, Uncle Obi.”

“Go on and meditate now, please. After you’re done, go over your healing exercises. We’re going to try and heal a little gizka’s leg today.”

“A gizka!” Luke cooed. “Where did you find it?”

“He got ran over by a speeder,” Obi Wan said. “I’ve been keeping him warm and safe in the back room.”

Luke squealed and ran off to practice his Jedi healing skills, while Obi Wan looked tiredly at Maul, who was looking at the back room. “If he doesn’t heal it, can we have gizka stew?”

Obi Wan let his head fall into his hands. 

Thankfully, they did not end up having gizka stew for dinner. Instead, Maul had to pout over Obi Wan’s new little pet gizka, named Anakin of all things. 

“He would hate it,” Obi Wan said, “and that makes me happy.”

Maul smirked appreciatively at Obi Wan. How sinister. Maybe an old ronto could learn new tricks. 

***

On Luke’s eleventh birthday, Maul called him over. “You’re old enough for your first training lightsaber now,” he said. Luke struggled to remain dignified and stoic, and not squeak like Obi Wan’s pet gizka. 

“Maul and I will both teach you the way of the blade,” Obi Wan said. “But you must know that both of us fight very differently. I use the forms of Ataru and Soresu, and I prefer Soresu for the defensive capabilities it offers.”

“I use the Juyo form,” Maul said. “It is the most difficult form to master. However, after a certain set of encounters,” he said, glaring at Obi Wan, who smiled like an innocent angel, “I, too, have adopted and blended in certain forms of soresu into my technique. I can confidently say that I can now remove another’s bum to avenge my own.”

“Bitter Betty,” Obi Wan chided him, before turning to Luke. “It’s true, though. My form is traditional, and is therefore predictable. Maul’s forms have the benefit of being completely new, and no one will expect a fusion fighter. With us, you will have the benefit of seeing and tackling the old way, and the...Maul way.”

After this, both masters unleashed their respective sabers. Luke’s eyes widened in awe. “All that’s left now is for you to determine which blade you are more comfortable using,” Maul smirked. He pointed to two staffs set to the side - one shorter blade to mimic a single blade, and another, longer one, to mimic the double blade. 

“Your days of blaster bolt deflection training are over,” Maul said, looming over Luke at his full height. “From today, you’re going to learn to play with the big boys.”

He smiled. “Let’s begin.”

***

“Wowie, I’m just glad that you taught me Jedi healing from the get-go, Uncle Obi,” Luke said, as he nursed his very, very, battered body after his first training session with Maul. Obi Wan winced, and channeled the healing force through himself. He had long thought that an angry, mad, Maul was the most dangerous blade opponent that he would ever face.

He hadn’t counted on a happy Maul being far more deadly. 

Maul was now practically singing as he jovially threatened to boil Obi Wan’s gizka, as the poor little thing squealed and ran off. Laughing, Maul continued to throw unknown chunks of meat into the fire. 

“What’s this?” Obi Wan asked, picking up the nicely charred meat. 

“Bantha,” Maul replied. “I found a wild one.”

“This bit doesn’t look like bantha though,” Luke said, pointing at Maul’s plate. 

“It’s not.”

Obi Wan stared. “Maul. Please. Please tell me that that was not a Tusken raider.”

Maul took a bite out of the mystery meat and met Obi Wan’s stare placidly. “I’m a Zabrak, you know. I’m technically a carnivore.”

“Oh no,” Obi Wan groaned.

“Sike, it’s not a person, it’s a krayt dragon,” Maul grinned. “Six years and you still fall for the same trick. Loser.”

Luke giggled at Obi Wan’s plight. “Uncle Obi, why aren’t you married to uncle Maul?” He asked, as Maul got up to go and put the dishes away. “You already live together, mostly, and you’re best friends, too.”

“There’s more to marriage than being decent pals, Luke,” Obi Wan said. “Love, for example.”

Luke looked skeptical. “Uh huh. So you don’t love Uncle Maul?”

“Good lord.”

“Because you and him are the same way that Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are. You both argue about the same silly things, laugh about the same dumb things, complain about politics, and have your meals together.”

Obi Wan decided to let Luke in on the birds and the bees. “Luke, married people do other stuff as well.”

“I know about sex, Uncle Obi,” Luke said grimly. When Obi Wan gasped, Luke explained, “The Darklighter family has a bantha farm. I have to go and help during the mating and foaling seasons. Uncle Owen says that only Coruscanti city slickers are squeamish about the facts of life.”

“Do hush, Luke, you’ll give Maul an ulcer if he overhears.”

“Uncle Maul routinely hunts krayt dragons and shyracks,” Luke deadpanned. “I don’t think that sex talk would faze him.”

“It absolutely would,” Maul interjected, coming over. “The only reason that I escaped the Nightsister ‘mating’ rituals was because I lacked genitalia. That might have been the only silver lining in losing everything hip-down. Thank you, Kenobi.”

“You’re welcome,” Obi Wan grumbled. 

“Argh, women,” Maul said thoughtfully. “Good mums, excellent warriors, give excellent hugs. Can’t think of much else to say about them.”

“You poor, uninitiated, virgin larva,” Obi Wan gawked.

“I am not a virgin,” Maul snapped. “I had a bum, you know. Had, being the imperative word.”

“Oh my god, I did not need to know that,” Obi Wan muttered, as Luke fell over in hoots of laughter. “Luke, get yourself to bed. You shouldn’t have to listen to this boor.”

After Luke had gone to bed, Maul grinned. “Aw, did I scar poor Kenoob with my dazzling sexual history?”

“What dazzling history? All you did was confirm that you are a homosexual who had sex at least once.”

“More than once,” Maul beamed. “Masquerade bars and goth clubs were the best for that. The goths especially liked my tattoos.”

Obi Wan sighed. “Just...no talking about any nasty business in front of Luke.”

“Why not? You do realize that Jedi suppressing their physical urges and banning attachment is what caused Vader to go dark, right? I can’t be the only one who sees it.”

“I’m not against it, but Luke is just a child!”

“Whose neighbours operate a bantha farm,” Maul retorted. “Banthas are loud. You’ll do right by the boy by letting him be a human, with human urges. Honestly. To think that I am advocating love. Egads.”

“Goodnight Maul,” Obi Wan said, getting up and walking to his bed. 

“Good night, prude,” Maul beamed, and slithered back to his ship.

Obi Wan watched through his window - hole in the wall, really - as Maul detached himself from his legs and bounced around the ship for a while, getting water, doing even more push ups like a freak, meditating, and polishing his hilt - not an innuendo, seeing as Maul didn’t have his own little hilt anymore, thanks to Obi Wan. Dimly, Obi Wan registered Maul waving at him. He waved back, only for Maul to cheerfully give him the finger before flopping into bed. 

Huffing a laugh, Obi Wan mimicked Maul’s little flop. As sleep stole over him, he thought about what Luke had said, and wondered if love was really so elusive as he had thought it to be.


	4. Enter, Princess Leia

When Luke turned fifteen, two things happened. The first was that Luke took his very first interplanetary trip to the crystal caves of Ilum to get a crystal for his very own lightsaber. Beru fretted about her baby’s first trip outside Tatooine, while Owen made worried grunting noises, the intensity of which kept increasing as the day got closer. 

Over the course of ten years, Maul had done the impossible and managed to not only fix his ship, but upgrade it as well. In all the time that they had been friends, Obi Wan realized that it was only now that he was setting foot on Maul’s ship/home. It was very...Maul, he thought, taking in the interior decor.

It was impeccably neat, with shelves upon shelves of holodisks of books on the Sith Code, Lightsaber forms, robotics manuals, and curiously, one copy of Gizka Soup for the Soul.

“Savage gave it to me as a gag gift,” Maul said when asked about it. 

There was a flimsi drawing of Maul’s twin in the drawer beside his bed, presumably done by Maul himself. It was a very good likeness, Obi Wan thought, surprised at his artistry. 

“I had too much time on my hands,” was Maul’s excuse to avoid looking like an emotional mush-bag. Obi Wan was not fooled, and carefully filed away the information that Maul was a supremely emotional mush-bag.

Luke had taken to wearing Maul’s dark, evil-looking, clothes more often. He would never be quite as tall as the Zabrak, Obi Wan thought. He had more of Padme’s features and traits than he did Anakin’s, he realized with a jolt. Luke had his mother’s gentle nature, her empathy, and her kindness. He had Anakin’s eyes, and his penchant for flying. Obi Wan wondered who Leia took after.

On Ilum, the trio disembarked and went into the cave. Immediately, they were beset by a horde of fierce tukata, or as Maul called them, Sidious Goats. The problem was quickly dealt with when Luke, resident fluff-ball, started cooing and forming maternal bonds with the beasts. 

Bloodshed averted and the Sidious Goats effectively played with, they carried on until they reached the central chamber. “This is the spot where Jedi have come for generations to find their crystals, Luke,” Obi Wan said, his soft voice echoing off the domed walls.”You are walking in the footsteps of so many before you - all the way from Revan and Bastila Shan, Zayne Carrick and Lucien Draay, to Yoda, Qui Gon, and yes, your father too.”

Luke’s eyes widened as he took in the crystals around him. His father had gone through this very same chamber. 

“Find your center,” Obi Wan guided him. “Let the crystals call out to you. You will find one that resonates with your core. There is no substitute for a crystal that is your very own.”

Obi Wan looked at Maul, who shrugged. “I have a synthetic crystal. I never went through this hippy-dippy ‘find your inner peace’ nonsense.”

Suddenly, Luke’s eyes shot open, and he gravitated to a set of crystals deep within the chamber. It was resonating so loudly that even Maul and Obi Wan could hear it. “I can hear it,” Luke whispered reverently.

“Well, tell it to shut up, I have tinnitus,” Maul grumbled, and Obi Wan pinched him for his sass.

Instinctively, Luke reached out with the force, beckoning a shard of the crystal formation towards himself. A perfect, green block floated out to meet him, practically singing it’s connection with him. 

“Ooh, green,” Maul said. “Green is my favourite colour.”

Obi Wan looked at him, nonplussed. “I never knew that.”

“I am a very mysterious kind of chap,” Maul said. “I have many, many, layers. Like pastry.”

Luke was now cooing to his crystal, which was vibrating in his hands. Obi Wan was pleased. “That is quite a large chunk of crystal, Luke. Good job. It should give you your lightsaber crystals and more for reserve.”

Luke beamed. “Thanks Uncle Obi.” He looked at Maul, who looked like he was silently arguing with a blue crystal formation through the Force. “Can Uncle Maul find a crystal too? He did say that he had to use a synthetic one. His connection to the Force would be so much more powerful if he had a bespoke one, like we do.”

“Eh, what?” Maul asked. “Oh no, I can’t. Red crystals are synthetic, you know. I’m not about to come out with some common blue or yellow crystal.”

“Yellow would compliment your eyes,” Obi Wan pointed out.

“Aw, thanks babe.”

“Eck.”

In the end, Maul walked out bemusedly with a hunk of purple crystal, which he claimed called him a bitch through the Force. It was then that he knew that they were meant to be. 

“Maybe you’re going about getting his affections all wrong,” Luke muttered cheekily to Obi Wan. “You should have just called him names.”

“I cut off his lower limbs, you would think that he would have been madly in love with me by now,” Obi Wan joked. 

Luke looked at him strangely. “He does love you though.”

“Oh don’t be so silly,” Obi Wan scoffed. “Onto the ship with you.”

Luke was convinced that he possessed that he had a higher emotional quotient than both his uncles, but obeyed and tumbled on board, where he and Maul got busy outfitting their lightsabers. “Don’t talk when you do this,” Maul instructed. “It’s a very personal thing, to build your saber. It’s like when you wank, you want privacy.”

Obi Wan would have been upset at Maul, only he remembered that Qui Gon had used the same analogy, years and years ago. Teenage Obi Wan had been quite squicked out by it, because, eww dad was talking about the penis, how would he ever recover from such trauma. 

There had been a couple of memorable occasions where Obi Wan had called Qui Gon ‘dad’. Qui Gon had glowed like an absolute lantern, while Obi Wan, upon realizing his folly, had turned tail and hid under the covers for an hour. 

In the end, Maul quite liked his new purple lightsaber blades. “Revan had a purple blade,” he recalled from his history books. “And he was super cool.”

“Mace Windu did as well,” Obi Wan said.

Maul sighed wistfully. “Oh, to battle a Vaapad master! How cruel life is to take this opportunity from me!”

Obi Wan shook his head in disbelief as Maul continued to wax poetic about battle stances. He looked at Luke, who was successfully tinkering away, and smiled. 

“Are you doing alright, Luke?”

“Yes dad.”

Maul laughed so hard that his upper body detached from his legs. For his part, other than a rather brilliant blush, Luke did not react. He did give Obi Wan a small smile. “Sorry.”

“Oh don’t be, I rather enjoyed that,” Obi Wan replied. “I wasn’t old enough to be Anakin’s father, but even he managed to muck it up sometimes and call me ‘mum’.” He turned around and prodded a still giggling Maul with his toe. “ Maul you menace, stop hooting, I am having a moment here.”

“How did he manage to call you ‘mum’?” Luke asked. 

“Anakin was selectively stupid,” Obi Wan said. “He tested very high, but I always had my doubts.”

When they landed back on Tatooine, Luke had to go and assuage his aunt and uncle’s jitters and was subject to many kissies and frantic hugs. He returned the the Kenobi-Maul homestead though, for his final lesson of the day.

Obi Wan placed a holo-projector in front of him and looked extremely agitated. “Luke, today is your fifteenth birthday,” he said. “I think that now you have mastered guarding your thoughts and feelings, it is the time to meet your sister.”

Luke gasped and leapt up to hug Obi Wan. “Uncle Obi! Really?”

“This is Maul’s secure comm line,” Obi Wan explained. “Your sister is Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan. It took a few tries to establish contact, because Leia’s father Bail wasn’t quite keen on the tattooed Zabrak calling his house comm.”

The line crackled to life, and they saw the holo of Senator Bail Organa fizzle to life. He looked distrustfully at Maul, who leered back unhelpfully. Bail looked around and spotted Obi Wan, and smiled. “My friend,” he said, “it is good to see you.”

Obi Wan tried to not choke on the flood of emotions that struck him. “Bail. I...it is good to see you again.”

The camera panned slightly lower, so that Luke and Leia could see each other. Luke gasped at the sight of his sister. “H-hi,” Luke stuttered. Leia, who was taught poise and elegance from the cradle, swiftly abandoned it and waved back with both of her hands. 

“Hi! Hi!” She called back. “Stars alive, I thought that this day would never come! Luke, you look just how I imagined you would!”

Luke could not say anything, and settled on crying instead. “You’re so pretty! And cute!”

“Just like me!” They chorused together.

“So you’re the warrior,” Leia said, beaming at Luke. “To be honest, you don’t exactly look like one.”

“Oi, I am very ripped under this shirt,” Luke sniffed. Maul poked Luke’s bony rib and caused him to squeal, effectively ending the facade. “Anyway,” Luke pouted, “how goes the quest on spreading freedom and truth and securing allies?”

“It’s fine,” Leia said, sobering up. “It’s hard, though. I always have to look behind my back, check my movements, and constantly make sure that there isn’t an information leak. One slip-up, one disloyal ally, and it’s game over.”

“Something tells me that you’ve had experience with betrayal,” Luke observed.

Leia nodded sadly. “Yes. A trusted valet, who had turned to the Empire. We found that he meant to give the Empire definitive proof of the rebellion.”

“What happened?” Luke asked quietly.

“Oh it was terrible,” Leia said sadly. “He was shot several times in the skull as he was returning from a rather disreputable area of the city. We do believe that it was a mugging gone wrong.”

Maul looked overjoyed. “Oh, I like you.”

Leia grinned and waved enthusiastically at him, while Bail frowned. “Obi Wan, my dear friend, who exactly is this person? Leia, stop waving at that man.”

“This is...Maul,” Obi Wan said lamely. “He is helping me...train Luke.”

“Wow, that is a kickass name,” Leia breathed. “Daddy, what’s my middle name?”

“Tinia,” Bail said, as Leia pouted.

“Wow, sucks to suck,” Maul said. “Don’t worry about it. Luke’s middle name is Woomy.”

“Uncle Maul!” Luke whinged. “It’s a family name!”

“Sir, I bid that you kindly identify yourself fully,” Bail frowned at Maul.

“Kenobi already said. My name’s Maul. I’m basically the handsome half of our double act.”

“Your full name, sir.”

“Maul,” Maul said, casting around for another moniker. What exactly was his full name? Maul Palpatine? Maul Sidious? “Maul...of Dathomir.”

“I see,” Bail said. “Then I am honoured to meet you, Master Maul.”

“Well met,” Maul said, channelling Palpatine’s lessons in political snootiness. 

The adults retreated, and allowed Luke and Leia to talk more, with Obi Wan popping in frequently to mop up the copious tears that Luke was shedding, because he, like his uncle Maul, was an emotional mush-bag. 

“I’d always felt that there was someone out there,” Luke said quietly. “I waited so long to just see my sister in a safe, secure way, and it was so worth it.”

Leia looked emotional herself. “I couldn’t believe it when my father told me that there was a little bit of me out there, floating around in the galaxy. But it felt so right,” she said, “that there was some part of me out there, beyond the stars.”

It was now Obi Wan who was the emotional mush-bag, because he was weeping into Maul’s shirt, why did Maul smell like plums, what was he getting up to?

“When can I see you again?” Luke asked sadly. “When can we see each other properly?”

Leia steeled herself and made a vow. “I swear by all that I stand for, I will make sure that we will be together again. I won’t let anyone or anything stand in my way - the empire, the dark side, or the emperor himself.” She paused. “He can get fucked.”

Maul burst into a standing ovation, truly moved by the depth of her feeling. Leia looked off at the screen. “Luke, who’s clapping?”

“Uncle Maul. I think that he really likes you.”

Leia laughed. “I like him too. He hacked into my private comm channel, you know, and daddy was super scared and cheesed off about it. Only the rebellion line is supposed to be able to get in, and we had to beef up security on all of our communications now.”

“You’re welcome!” Maul called. 

“We end each call with a password for the next meeting,” Leia said. “Our password for the next call will be ‘Sith’. No one will be able to guess that!”  
“Oh my god, that’s so smart,” Luke marvelled. “You must take after mum, Uncle Obi keeps saying that dad was dumb, and that he only tested really high.”

They continued on for ages, it seemed, talking and giggling and making up for the years that they had been forced to spend apart. Maul and Obi Wan were content to putter around in the background, secretly eavesdropping. The kids met Leia’s mother, Breha, who immediately remarked on how thin Luke was, did he not eat properly, nutrition is important.

“Oh, I’m fine Mrs. Organa,” Luke smiled. “Really. I can cook pretty decent food, actually, even though Uncle Maul insists on trying to boil Uncle Obi’s gizka.”

“What’s a gizka?” Leia asked, upon which Luke showed her Anakin the gizka, which prompted several minutes of cooing from both parties. 

Luke sighed. “I don’t want to end the call,” he said sadly. 

Leia’s face fell. “Me neither.” The twins stared at each other balefully, unwilling to be parted once more. “We can’t even call each other without the secure channel and preset schedule.”

“Do- do you think that you could reach out?” Luke asked hesitantly, stealing a quick look at Maul, who had dropped all pretense of not eavesdropping. “Through the Force? We did it before, right? We knew that we were out there, we knew that it was a certain someone. But could we reach out deliberately?”

Leia looked unconvinced. “I’m not sure,” she muttered. “You’re the one with the training, Luke. I wouldn’t know my arse from my head with the Force.”

“But we could still try,” Luke encouraged her. “Please?”

“Alright, I’m game,” Leia replied. “How do we do this?”

  
“Dunno. Uncle Maul?”

“This is my moment,” Maul said heroically. “All my suffering, my pain, and trauma is worth this one moment in history.” Abandoning his legs, Maul skittered forward on his hands like a spider, making Leia scream. 

“Oh my god, where are your legs!” Leia shrieked.

“I left them in the corner,” Maul grinned, scrambling up to the projector, using Luke as an unwilling tree. 

“H-how? You don’t have-”

“A bum? Good observation. I have lost much in my tragic young life-”

“Oh stop it,” Obi Wan said, coming over to pluck Maul off of Luke’s head. “It’s been over twenty years now, go and put on your legs and stop scaring the kids.”

“Party pooper,” Maul said cheerfully, and levitated his legs over so that he could reattach himself. “Anyway, where were we?”

“Establishing contact through the Force?” Leia asked hesitantly.

“Ah, yes. Seeing as I had a twin, I am somewhat of the resident expert on this. The connection is largely instinctive. You won’t be able to communicate with words, or thoughts, but you can project feelings. Twins can know when the other is happy, pained, or in distress. The more open and practiced the connection is, the clearer the feelings will be. Try to reach out. It has to be a deliberate action on your part, to find your other half and focus on them, to let them in-”

“Um. Leia?” Luke asked.

“Yeah?”

“My stomach hurts.”

“Mine too.”

Obi Wan looked curiously at Maul. “Is that supposed to happen?”

For his part, Maul looked equally baffled. “No. Although,” he muttered, “a thought occurs. Leia?”

“Yes, Master Maul?”

“Forgive me for asking, but are you currently experiencing your regularly scheduled female problems?”

Leia’s eyes snapped open. “Oh! I am,” she realized. Then, “Oh no! Was I transmitting my uterine cramps?”

“Quite possibly,” Luke grunted, looked pale and unhappy. 

“Oh Luke, I’m so sorry!”

“S’alright,” Luke smiled weakly. “But it worked! I felt what you were feeling!”

“They’re uncannily good at this,” Maul muttered to Obi-Wan. “It shouldn’t be this clear for a first try.”

“Well, Luke is quite accomplished at the Mind Arts,” Obi Wan said.

“I was talking about the girl.”

“She has a lineage that is strong in the force,” Obi Wan mused. “I’d always wondered if Padme was a force sensitive.”

“She was,” Maul grunted, to Obi Wan’s surprise. “What? You seriously didn’t know?”

“No,” Obi Wan replied. “How did you know? We have to find the midi-chlorian count through a blood test.”

“No, you’re a numpty,” Maul declared. “Can’t you _feel_ it? You have to _feeeeeeel_ it-”

“Stop that-”

“-anyway, she wasn’t Jedi or Sith level. More like the initiates that fail the selection process for a padawan and get reassigned to the farm corps level. But she was totally force sensitive.” Having said his peace, Maul went back to practicing his katas and trying to invent even more lethal combat moves, as was his favourite pastime. 

Obi Wan looked in some shock at Maul. The evil little Zabrak was full of contradictions. Arguably more savvy and well adjusted to modern life than any Jedi, and yet so steeped in the old traditions. He could simultaneously be a font of knowledge and annoyance. 

“Uncle Obi, you’re staring at Uncle Maul again,” Luke said, waddling over. “I can’t decide if your eyes are filled with love or if he mucked up something again.”

Obi Wan looked over. “Neither, good lord. Did you and Leia finish talking? Did you remember to shut down the connection completely?”

“Yes and yes,” Luke said happily. “Thanks, uncle Obi. This was the best birthday ever!”

Obi Wan smiled at the fireworks behind Luke’s eyes. “You’re welcome, Luke. I’m glad that you finally got to meet your sister.”

“Leia said that she’s going to practice reaching out with her feelings, so that we can always be with each other in some way,” Luke said. “She’s amazing, isn’t she?”

“She looks very much like your mother,” Obi Wan said, “as do you. It’s less obvious with you, because you have your father’s colouration, but you have her features and general nature.”

“And size,” Maul said cruelly.

“Nooo,” Luke whinged mournfully. “I knew that I was doomed to be short or average height at best.”

Obi Wan slung an arm around Luke’s (comfortably nipple high) shoulders and led him away while making disapproving clucking noises at Maul. 

At dinner, Luke prattled endearingly about how his uncles were the best, he had his very own focusing crystal for his lightsaber, and he got to meet his sister. Maul took all the thanks and credit, and his eyes (literally) glowed with happiness like the huge creep-bucket that he was. Obi Wan and Maul both indulged Luke with stories about his parents - Maul’s stories being far more malicious than Obi Wan’s tales of Padme’s bravery and Anakin’s victories.

“I was on a mission to facilitate the fall of Naboo, see?” Maul said through a mouthful of pudding. “And your mum was the queen at the time. I had to kidnap her, but she was slippery, like a slug.”

“No one has ever described Padme Amidala as a slug before,” Obi Wan frowned.

“Well she was. She kept getting away, yeah? Anyway, I kept chasing her, and for a terrible few days, I thought that I had developed a crush on her, a woman! Thankfully, I later realized that I had been crushing on her guard captain-”

“Captain Tanaka?” Obi Wan asked, amused.

“That’s the one. I was very relieved, to say the least. Then Kenobi cut my legs off.”

Obi Wan let his head plop into his hands as Luke giggled at the unnecessary addendum to an otherwise wholesome(ish) story. Only Anakin the Gizka - the true Anakin, in Obi Wan’s opinion, as the man’s spirit lived on in this dear reptile - understood him. Still, he thought, looking around at the shared company, the present wasn't too bad. 

***


	5. Boss Level 1000: Vader

Precisely one day after his nineteenth birthday, Luke woke up with a jolt, realizing that Leia was in trouble. When faced with a quandary, he did what anyone would do - run to his Uncle Obi’s house. 

Curiously, Maul was still there, having a snooze on the sofa, if it could so be called. “Uncle Obi! Uncle Maul!” Luke squealed. “We have to go, I felt Leia in distress!”

“Cool, where are we going?” Maul asked. “Also how are we going, because I’m pretty sure that if we get anywhere near the empire, my ship will be pinged. It’s the one Sidious gave me, he’s sure to have it listed as belonging to me.”

Luke turned big, wibbly blue eyes at him. “We’ll go to the cantina in the city,” he said, “there’s bound to be someone there to give us a ride.”

“This is highly unusual,” Obi Wan mused. “Usually, there would have been some kind of disturbance in the Force to signal such a precipitous event.”

  
Just then, a light flashed overhead, as a rescue pod blazed through the sky, carrying two severely harried droids. “There’s your disturbance,” Maul pointed out needlessly. “Quick, after the pod!”

The three men came upon C-3PO and R2-D2 trundling out of the pod, with the smaller droid beeping some rather unsavoury words. “Oh! Artoo, look, these kind gentlemen will be able to help us- oh dear,” Threepio tapered off, as Maul’s face came into view. “We surrender! Don’t hurt us!”

Obi Wan squinted through the sand at the droids. “Oh my. Is that you, C-3PO?” 

Threepio stumbled. “Sir! How do you know me? I regret to inform you that I had been memory wiped several times, and I remember nothing save the companionship of my little friend here.”

Obi Wan looked down at R2-D2, who squealed happily at the sight of him and rolled over. “Hello, Artoo,” Obi Wan greeted him, stroking his little domed head. “It’s very good to see you again.”

“Twooooo,” Artoo trilled happily. “Tweet tweet.”

“These are Leia’s droids!” Luke gasped. “What happened to her?”

“Merciful stars above, I cannot believe our luck!” Threepio sang. “Someone who can help! We were on a mission with the princess, when her ship was captured by the Empire! She was taken away on charges of sedition! Oh, her status as a rebel officer was uncovered, she will be in deep peril!”

“Where did they take her?” Obi Wan asked urgently. 

Artoo shrieked his information at them, and projected an image of the death star, with it’s coordinates. Maul gaped. “The Empire built a Death Moon?”

“Death Star, actually, as per the plans- oh dear,” Threepio whimpered as Maul glared at him before turning back to the schematics. 

“The firepower on this thing is unheard of,” Maul muttered. “It has the capacity to destroy anything in it’s path. Even planets, I would reckon.” He paused. “Oh no.”

“Call Bail Organa, now,” Obi Wan barked. “We need to tell him that there is a superweapon possibly headed for Alderaan. Their cover is blown, they need to evacuate as many people as possible! We will get Leia back.”

Bail Organa was horrified to discover that Leia had been captured, and that Aldreaan was under imminent threat. “Obi Wan, my girl-” 

“Bail, we will get her back, I swear,” Obi Wan vowed. “But you need to evacuate the planet, now. Every single Alderaanian is under threat, and they are going to be looking to you for guidance. Please, please save your people and save yourself. We will save Leia.”

“Swear it to me,” Bail said hoarsely. “Obi Wan, she knew the risks when she enlisted as a rebel, but she is my child, my only child. Please, save her, bring her back safe.”

“I swear it,” Obi Wan said. 

Bail looked at Maul, a being he was not exceptionally fond of. “Master Maul.”

Maul looked evenly at Bail. “Senator Organa.”

There was steel in Bail’s eyes. “I will no longer hold up the pretense of not knowing who you are. Please. Save my daughter.” He took a breath. “By any means necessary.”

Obi Wan felt a chill run down his spine as Maul smiled. His whole aura leaked of the dark side, as he tapped into it in a way he had not had use for in close to twenty years. It flowed through him like a dam that had burst upon a river, eager and uncaring of it’s destructive force. Maul, for his part, welcomed it like an old friend, his eyes glowing a true Sith-yellow from the embers that they usually were.

“It would be my pleasure.”

***

Han Solo had not expected to be doing favours, even with the promise of a princess’ gratitude and her riches. What he hadn’t expected was to being sweet-talked into it by a little desert-dwelling twink, and his desperate pleas of, “oh please, sir, won’t you help us save my sister?”

Also Chewbacca would disown him if they didn’t help the rebellion when they had the chance. 

And so Han found himself flying the Eternal Twink and his two dads to the Yavin system, of all places. He was particularly wary of the one dad with the full body tattoos and the evil glimmer in his eye whenever Han so much as looked at the Desert Daisy. 

The boy - Luke - on the other hand, seemed to be hanging off of the Zabrak - named Maul of all things. “Meditate, child,” Maul was saying. “Channel the agitation into focus. Think of how you will cut into those who dared to harm your sister. Think of how you will blow apart their feeble brains with the force, curdle the blood in their veins.”

Luke frowned, and to Han’s eternal horror, a strange aura, invisible to the eye, yet very much present, began to pulse around him. It felt thick and saturated with power and intent - none of it particularly good. 

Maul was the only one who seemed happy at this development, and the other human, Obi Wan, cleared his throat. “Do you mind? I am trying to meditate. Luke,” he called, “focus your energies. Hold onto them for now, do not let them overwhelm you. After all, we do not want to blast this nice smuggler into hyperspace.”

Luke opened his eyes and smiled at him. “Oh! I’m sorry, Han! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Han quickly gathered up his swagger. “There’s not much that’ll faze me, kid. I’m made of sterner stuff-”

Suddenly, Luke cried out in pain, as did Obi Wan, the older man crumpling to the floor. Han, who was closer, grabbed Luke. “What? What is it?”

  
“Something terrible has happened!” Luke gasped. “Uncle Obi! Uncle Maul! Is it-”

Maul was looking grim as he supported Obi Wan. “Reach out to Leia. Do it now.”

Luke gave a tremulous gasp and closed his eyes, only to open them a moment later. “I can still feel her presence. She’s ok.”

Obi Wan sagged. “Then it has happened. Alderaan is gone.”

Han spun around. “What did you say? How can Alderaan be gone? It’s an entire planet!”

Obi Wan pursed his lips as he sat down shakily. “The life force of an entire planet was just snuffed out. I have not felt such a whiplash in the Force since- since the war. And even then, it was nothing like this. The closest I have felt to this is the night that the Jedi Temple burnt. All those lives…”

“Dathomir,” Maul said quietly. “Not even close. But my mum and brother. The village.”

Han shuddered. What kind of hellscapes had their lives been?

“But we have a new destination now,” Obi Wan said. He looked Han in the eyes, the cool steel behind his pale blue chilling him to the core.

“Set course for Alderaan.”

***

It was carnage. 

Alderaan was gone, only rocks and debris left of a once glorious planet. The ships that had been too late to escape had been blown to bits, and the cool, dead eyes of Alderaanians who were caught up in the distant explosion were locked into the darkness of space, forever frozen, doomed to watch the remains of their world, but blissfully unseeing.

Han had to take a minute to be sick in the toilet, and returned to the cockpit to see Chewie cuddling Luke, both of whom looked shaken. In contrast, Maul was looking at the news feed on his comlink.

“Word has spread,” he said. “Bail and Breha Organa made it out, as did around 50% of the Alderaanians. They’ve formally declared for the Rebellion. Several other sister planets have followed them - Onderon, Dantooine, Naboo, Mandalore, Manaan, and Nar Shadaa.”

Han looked over. “Nar Shadaa went over to the Rebellion? That’ll cause waves - the Empire just lost one of their main economic hubs.”

“And the planets are all on the same hyperspace lane, so they can defend themselves,” Obi Wan observed tiredly. “Onderon and Dantooine have always had strong Jedi roots. Mandalore is not a surprise, after what the Empire did there.”

Chewbacca howled. Han nodded at his friend’s words. “Chewie’s right. Kashyyyk will go for the Rebellion as well. But Naboo is Palpatine’s home planet. How did they think to leave?”

Maul barked a short laugh. “You haven’t had the pleasure of dealing with the Naboo. It was the planet of Padme Amidala who notably saved the planet with the help of the Jedi, and the people never forgot that she died as soon as Order 66 was declared. They all know who killed her.” Maul turned to Luke. “It should have been your home planet. She should have had you there.”

Han felt as though he had been thrown into a washing machine today. First Alderaan, then open rebellion, and now finding out that the Twinkiest Flower of Tatooine was actually Naboo nobility? He needed a stiff drink.

Before Han could reach for the liquor though, Luke gasped, pointing out of the window. “The Death Moon!”

“That’s no moon,” Obi Wan said grimly. “That’s the Death Star, and it’s where Leia is.”

“How do we get on board?” Luke asked.

“Change the ship’s call number,” Han grunted. “Oldest trick in the smuggler’s handbook. We have some old Imperial call numbers that are from supply vessels from the days just after the Clone Wars.”

“Oh, that’s so clever!” Luke enthused, and made Han blush like Maul’s old kyber crystal. Maul, being the absolute busybody that he was, noticed Han’s reaction and pointed it out to Obi Wan.

“He’s hot for our kid!” 

“So?” Obi Wan asked tiredly. “It’s not as though they can do anything right now. We’re saving Leia, remember?”

“I don’t like him.”

“You like precisely three people in the known universe, and two of them are on the ship with you,” Obi Wan said. “The other one is on the Death Star that we are looking to save her from.”

“Poodoo,” Maul grumbled, but subsided. “Luke, wear your civilian disguise. That stuff is armoured, it’ll set off all kinds of alarms.”

“Er,” Han raised his hand, “how exactly are you going to infiltrate the base?” He asked, gesturing at Maul’s...everything.

“It is called stealth,” Maul sniffed. 

“And if someone turns a corner and bumps into you?”

“Then I use my trusty little dagger, and I-”

“Maul,” Obi Wan gritted out.

“-do a little slicey-slicey across the neck-”

“Oh my god, forget that I asked,” Han said, backing away. When they were within reach of the Death Star, Han activated the ship’s comm. 

“Imperial Star Base calling ship CO-89B8, unknown Correllian supply freighter. State your purpose for approaching, over,” a mechanical voice blared out. 

Han put on his best ‘I’m in charge’ voice. This was a lie, because it was usually Chewbacca in charge. “CO-89B8 responding, we are on a supply run for the base, cargo listed as troops, um, delicate items. over.”

“What delicate items, over.”

“Well, I can’t really say, but they felt very long. And, er, phallic. Can’t expect the men to go without, now, can you? It’s just a fact of life. A happy soldier is a good soldier, after all. Over.”

“Oh my god, fine, come aboard. Over and out.”

Han grinned and shot the troupe a thumbs up that only Maul returned. Luke was about to give him a thumbs up, only for Obi Wan to slap his hand down. 

Han docked the Falcon onboard the Death Star, and went about lying about their intentions to the guards, using Luke as a distraction. “Look, why are you so paranoid about us?” Han asked. “I have a literal twink with me, see?” On command, Luke waved happily. “He can’t do anything other than look cute.” The guards leered at Luke, who squeaked and quickly hid behind Han. 

Just then, Maul popped up from behind the guards, twisted their necks using the Force, and beamed at a horrified Han and a less horrified Luke. “Now you can take their uniforms and infiltrate the base.”

“D- did you just kill them?” Han whispered, prodding the very dead guard.

“I saw how they looked at Luke,” Maul defended himself. He turned to a nervous C3PO and a less emotive R2D2. “Droid, plug yourself into the mainframe. You will need to transmit directions to us via our comlinks.”

R2 whistled his understanding and rolled away, taking 3PO with him. Once they were in their disguises, Luke, Chewbacca, and Han split off from Obi Wan and Maul, who did a solid job at melding into the shadows and slithering away. “I am a smuggler,” Han whinged to himself, “just a little smuggler. And now I’ve gotten caught up with princess-saving, Force-using maniacs. Oh woe is me-”

In the meantime, Luke was using his bond to Leia to track her. “Damn,” he whispered, “we need better clearance to get to the prisoner block.” He spied a convenient pair of stormtroopers around the corner. “Okay, new plan. We pose as the stormtroopers escorting Chewbecca to the prisoner block.”

Chewbacca asked if that means that they were going to kill the stormtroopers, to which Luke frowned. “Uncle Obi would just knock them out.”

“But they’d wake up and blab,” Han pointed out.

“Right,” Luke muttered, and with great reluctance, reached out with the Force and constricted their airways. Luke and Han changed out of their guard uniforms and into stormtrooper armour, and quickly waddled into the prisoner block with Chewbacca, who was only very loosely handcuffed. 

“Escorting a prisoner,” Han said needlessly. 

“Which cell block?” The trooper on duty barked. 

Just then, the vent grate popped open from above, and Maul dropped down, quickly running his blade through the trooper. “Cell block C,” he said needlessly. “I found her.”

“Honestly,” Obi Wan’s hassled voice came from the pipes, as he peered down at Maul’s carnage. “I can’t take you anywhere.” Maul grinned as Obi Wan landed lightly next to him. “Let us continue on.”

The group came up to Block C, and found Leia’s door quickly enough, on account of all the cursing she was doing. Luke yelped and ran towards the door, finding it slightly ajar. He peeked in and felt a rush of white hot rage as he saw the torture droid. Summoning the Force, he punched the door in, and subsequently also flattened the guard captain administering the torture. 

Leia looked up in shock as Han popped in to quickly shoot the droid. “Heyo Princess.”

“Heyo,” Leia grumbled. She looked at Luke, who was carefully trying to avoid all the blood leaking out of the guard captain. “Um.”

“Oh!” Luke realized and popped his helmet off, and grinned. “Leia! We’re here to rescue you!”

Leia’s face split into a radiant smile as she threw herself at Luke in a hug. “Luke! You came!”

“Of course I did! Uncle Obi and Maul are here too. This is Han and Chewie, by the way, Uncle Maul threatened Han into helping.”

Han grimaced as Leia shot him a commiserating look. “Well, thank you. You have done the Rebellion a great service this day.”

“You’re welcome,” Han muttered, stepping back to avoid the still leaking blood from the now very dead captain. “We really ought to get moving.”

They left the cell block to rendezvous with Maul and Obi Wan, the latter of whom was sighing at the small heap of dead bodies that Maul was stacking neatly into a broom closet. “Honestly,” Obi Wan was saying, as he helped Maul stuff the corpses away. “Maul, you have no restraint.”

“Oh look, they got Leia,” Maul noted. “Hello princess.”

“Hello Master Maul, Master Kenobi,” Leia smiled. “I cannot thank you enough for this.”

“Later, my dear,” Obi Wan said with a genuine smile. “First we must escape this wretched place.”

“The droids,” Leia said hurriedly, “did you manage to get Artoo’s schematics of the Death Star?”

Obi Wan nodded. “We sent a copy of the schematics to your father via Maul’s secure line to him. The plans are with the rebellion now.”

“Then everything was worth it,” Leia whispered. “But we were too late. My planet-”

Maul grasped her shoulder. “Hold that pain. Hold onto it tight, girl, you will need it in the battles to come. I do not intend to perish aboard this blasted sphere. We must escape first.”

Leia took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded. “Yes. But I will have my revenge.”

“You will have your taste of blood,” Maul vowed, a traditional Nightbrother battle saying. Obi Wan bit down a groan, and ushered the group down the hallway. They were scarcely out of the prison block before they heard a shrill cry.

“Oh my god, bodies in the broom closet!”

“Intruders on the Death Star, sound the alarm!”

As the sirens began to wail, the group legged it, coming upon a grate in the wall. “Quick, inside!” Maul hissed. 

Chewbacca grasped the grate and tore it off of it’s nails, flinging his smaller party members down the chute before wriggling through himself. They crawled down the chute and descended into a dark chamber. “Urgh, trash,” Han complained.

“Look, there’s another grate,” Luke pointed out on the adjacent wall. “It looks like it’s for a vent, we can get out through that.”

Suddenly, Luke’s comlink buzzed to life. “This is indeed correct, Master Luke!” 3PO’s voice bleated. “The vent is connected with the central vent system, and is therefore connected into the landing bay. If you are able to get to the vents, R2 and I can direct you back to the ship.”

“So the droids finally came through,” Han grinned. “Alright, everyone up to the-” Han was interrupted by an awful, churning noise of gears. “Oh no.”

“The trash compactor started working!” Leia gasped. “We'll be crushed!”

“No we fucking won’t, I refuse to be squished to death like a flimsy can,” Maul hissed. “Luke, reach out through the force and halt the gears.”

Luke nodded and reached out, finding the giant cogs powering the walls. With his concentration, he willed them to stop, bringing them to a screeching halt, and damaging the system. “Done!”

“Good work, Luke,” Obi Wan said, pleased. 

Han’s jaw was hanging open at Luke’s display of power. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry for calling you a useless twink.”

“It’s alright,” Luke smiled. “I’m cognizant enough to recognize that I have twinkish qualities.”

“Come on,” Leia grunted, grabbing Luke and pushing him towards the vent. Suddenly, there was a very pronounced squishing noise, followed by an eyeball. 

“Eww,” Maul groaned. “Gross, trash slug!”

Obi Wan was more aware of the impending danger. “That’s not a trash slug,” he muttered, “that’s a dianoga. Everyone, quickly, to the vent!”

Even as they made to move, the dianoga reared up, looking eagerly at it’s live meal. “Sick,” Maul muttered. “Kenobi, do something, you’re closest to it.”

“Force’s sake,” Obi Wan muttered, and slashed at the dianoga’s hydra-esque eyes. “Do something, you legless ronto!”

“Hey!” Maul cried, and unleashed a stream of force lightning, electrocuting the dianoga. The beast shrieked, flailing at the assault, until it fell over, dead to the world. “Now, who were you insulting, Kenoob?”

Obi Wan rolled his eyes and strode towards the vent. “3PO, where to now?” 

“Take two left turns, and then stay true, Master Kenobi,” 3PO’s voice came. “You should come out in the hangar bay. Artoo and I are already aboard the Falcon, and we await your arrival.”

The group squiggled along, occasionally pausing to help Chewbacca navigate some tight spots. They came to their destination, and saw that the hangar bay was blissfully empty, with all the guards being dispatched to the interior of the ship to look for the intruders. 

Obi Wan kicked the grate open and landed daintily, noting the rest of the party tumbling out with varying levels of grace. “Do not move,” he whispered. “We are being watched.”

“Fuck,” Han whispered back eloquently. 

“Your senses have not failed you, Kenobi,” a deep voice rasped out. The blast doors to the hangar opened, and Darth Vader stepped in, followed by his elite guard. Obi Wan stiffened, and Maul cursed. 

“Vader,” Obi Wan managed casually. “Thoroughly unpleasant to see you.”

“Likewise,” Vader’s reply came, tinged with amusement. “Time has bestowed upon you a sense of humor, I see.”

“Time,” Maul hissed. “And frequent exposure to yours truly.”

Vader’s helmet shifted to look directly at Luke and Leia, the former of whom growled. “Well, well. Princess Leia-”

“I am going to kill you and then dance on your ashes,” Leia said without prompting. “I will laugh and laugh while you scream your throat raw, as I make you suffer.”

Vader paused, slightly taken aback by her viciousness. “Well. Quite.” He shifted his attention to Luke, who tensed. “Kenobi has taken another apprentice, I see.”

“Get rekt,” Luke said, channelling his Uncle Maul.

‘No little one,” Vader crooned, “it is you who shall be ‘rekt’.” Vader flung out his hands and blew apart the hangar, separating Luke’s troupe and isolating Obi Wan. “You are mine, Obi Wan Kenobi.”

Luke did not have time to go to his uncle, as Vader’s 501st guards readied their blasters. Taking a deep breath, he called, “Han, Chewie! Get Leia to the ship!” He turned and faced the legendary battalion, and drew out his lightsaber, the blade flashing green. The stormtroopers readied their charge, and charged their blasters, moving to surround him.

Luke smiled, and letting himself revel in the moment, unleashed the second blade on his double bladed lightsaber, settling into Maul’s juyo stance. There was a quiet ‘oh shit’ from at least one of the troopers as Luke fell upon them. 

In the distance, Vader had just enough time to note Luke’s fight with both surprise and slowly dawning realization that Kenobi could not have taught the boy how to wield a double blade, he was not a practitioner of Juyo, even the strange style that the boy was using - quite lethally at that. The knowledge hit him like a bantha in a rut.

The boy was not Kenobi’s apprentice. 

His breath hitching, Vader realized that he had missed the last member of Kenobi’s troupe. He had to end the battle before the missing element could strike. Throwing all of his power at Obi Wan, Vader charged, putting Obi Wan on the defensive. Slowly but surely, he was wearing the older man down. 

Suddenly, Obi Wan paused, as if realizing his position. Old and tired, shaken from the backlash of Alderaan, he could not hope to compete with Darth Vader at this time. “I had never wished this for you, Anakin,” he said quietly. “I loved you, with all my heart.”

“And yet, when I fought to keep my love alive, your entire Order stood in my way,” Vader hissed.

“We did not kill her, Anakin,” Obi Wan reminded him. “She was a healthy woman. The heartbreak caused by your actions is what killed her. How could a heart as gentle as hers withstand the pain that you gave her?”

Vader roared and slashed across, seeking to end the font of truth. At the last minute, Obi Wan was pushed aside, as Maul took his place in the way of the blade.

“NO!” Luke shrieked, the explosion of emotion from him throwing back the scant remaining stormtroopers. He made to run to avenge his fallen master, but was pulled aside by Obi Wan. 

“Luke! No!”

Vader, for once, seemed surprised at the lack of a figure within the robes. He looked over at Obi Wan, still very much clothed (thank god. He did not think that he could have stood the sight of a nude Obi Wan). He looked back at the clothes on the floor, and startled as a pair of mechanical legs suddenly stood up. “What the fuck,” Vader muttered, as the legs shook off the robes and ran off.

Luke cheered as the legs came to a halt in front of the Falcon, and turned. From the ceiling, Maul’s torso dropped down, reclaiming his lower body. Vader, for once, seemed stymied, not having expected this spectre of the past to rise. At least it answered the question as to who had trained the boy with the blade. 

Vader had scarcely any time to register this, however, as he spied the gun turret of the Falcon turning to focus on him. He knew, without a doubt, and Princess Leia Organa was the one manning the turret. He did not have to be able to see to know that she had a mean little smile dancing on her lips. “Heck,” Vader muttered, and ran for it, as Leia started firing. 

Luke, Maul, and Obi Wan all boarded the Falcon, and Han waited not a second longer to lift off. “Don’t talk to me,” Han grunted, dodging the blasts from the TIE fighters that were pouring out of the Death Star in their pursuit, “until we hit hyperspace. Evil dude, man the other turret, would you?”

Maul stopped trying to readjust his legs and simply popped his torso off again, skittering away to claim a turret. He was going to have a good time. 

“Chewie, engage for the jump to hyperspace,” Han gritted out as the Falcon took a hit. “Damn.”

“Shields at 80%,” Luke called. 

Han grunted. They just had to make it two more minutes. Two more minutes until hyperspace…

“Go into the asteroid belt,” Luke said. 

Han swiveled around. “What the fuck, kid.”

Luke smiled. “Go into the asteroid belt,” he repeated. “Trust me.” Han looked around at Obi Wan, who looked doubtful, but nodded. 

Cursing his luck, Han steered into the asteroid belt, and waited for doom. Instead, the rocks seemed to float dutifully out of their path. “I am a fantastic pilot,” Han muttered to himself in disbelief, “but even I’m not that good.”

Chewie howled an affirmation that he was not that good a pilot, and that Luke was moving the rocks. 

“What to you mean ‘Luke is moving the rocks’, Luke is a sand flower whose main function is to sit and look pretty, oh fuck he’s moving the rocks, fuck me,” Han cursed. 

Luke held back a smile as he raised his hands and redirected the asteroids away from the Falcon, and into the path of the TIE fighters following them. Even Obi Wan was impressed, and he quickly started to channel his power to Luke, so that the boy could work. 

The distraction gave Han the time he needed to jump into hyperspace. Safe at last, he burst into tears. He never wanted to see any of these people ever again, not even Luke, for all that he had a very nice butt. His resolution was quickly reversed as Luke teetered and collapsed, and Han quickly held him before he could hit the floor.

“You did good, kid,” Han whispered. 

“Thns,” Luke slurred, drained from the extreme show of power. He let his head slump onto Han’s shoulder and let the man carry-drag him over to Chewie. 

“Chewie, cuddle the kid, would ya? He did good.”

Chewie, who was simultaneously Han’s mother, father, and older sibling all at once, took Luke into his warm embrace and held him to his motherly bosom. Luke hummed and snuggled back, like a good boy. 

Leia came back then, with Maul using her as a perch for a piggy-back ride. “Hello all,” Maul beamed, as Leia put him back onto his legs. “Luke m’boy.”

“Hi Uncle Maul,” Luke mumbled tiredly, inching over to hug him. “You scared me back there.”

“Sorry not sorry,” Maul snorted, throwing an arm around Luke. “Wouldn’t have had to be the hero if Kenobi here hadn’t decided to be a sacrificial bantha. What were you thinking, you clod? Vader isn’t going to reform if he offs you. He isn’t going to go through some internal man-pain emotional journey because of your death.”

Maul then tried to kick Obi Wan, who stepped aside, rather unimpressed. “Boor,” he sniffed, then sighed. “I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly. I just saw him and saw everything I had done wrong. I must have, or he would have said something, done something different. He might have told me, and I could have helped him.”

“Or, he would have remained a huge idiot and still messed things up,” Maul pointed out. “And you would be super dead right now.”

Luke was following this conversation with wide eyes, and in the brief lull, piped up, “Uncle Obi?”

Obi Wan’s exasperated expression (the default when dealing with Maul) melted into a softer one. “Yes Luke?”

“You kept calling Vader ‘Anakin’,” Luke observed quietly. “And my dad’s name is Anakin. Please tell me that it’s just a huge coincidence?”

Leia rocketed up. “What!”

Han, who was a tremendous busybody, also looked over. “What?”

Chewbacca, who had actual manners, smacked Han around the head, and growled at him to stay out of other people’s family matters. Then, he leaned over to offer the small group a private room in the back, which just happened to be Han’s bedroom.

“Thank you, good sir,” Obi Wan said gratefully, ushering his little family into the back room. He shut the door and faced the twins, one of whom was seething and the other who looked quietly upset. “Luke, Leia, you should sit,” he said gently. 

Leia threw herself onto Han’s bed and immediately regretted it as several bedsprings attacked her. Luke chose to remain standing. “So, about Vader,” Luke prompted. 

Obi Wan sighed. “Nineteen years ago, the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker was turned to the dark side by Darth Sidious, or the Emperor Palpatine. He had been tricked into believing a planted vision, and driven into fear and anger at being helpless to save his wife, your mother Padme.

“Anakin sought more than anything to save his wife from her supposed death, and the fear of losing her drove him to embrace the dark side. He turned and killed the Jedi who raised him, and in his madness, killed his wife as well.”

Leia cursed in her native Alderaanian tongue as Luke gasped. “He killed the Jedi?” Luke whispered. “All those people in the Jedi Temple?”

“The worst part was that there were younglings there,” Obi Wan recalled sadly. “I remember seeing the footage - it was terrible. I confronted Anakin on Mustafar with Padme. In the resulting battle, I had the high ground, but Anakin continued to attack. I had no choice but to cut him in two.”

Maul perked up. “Ah, kinship.”

“Stop it, you. Anakin fell into the lava, and I had presumed him dead. I went to Padme’s side and healed her long enough so that she could deliver you two, but then...she let go. The damage that Anakin’s attack caused on her airway and lungs was too great.

“Anakin was reborn as Darth Vader, and since then, it has been my mission to keep you and Leia safe from his and the Empire’s grasp.”

Leia looked ready to throw hands, preferably at Vader himself. “And Master Maul? How did he factor into this?” 

Maul perked up. “Ah! I was yet another victim of Kenobi’s wanton blade slashing year prior, and lost my bum and southern regions to his nefarious blade. We reconnected through the machinations of the Force, and I realized that he was useless, and that my steady hand and wisdom was necessary in raising your squishy pea of a brother.”

“Who else knew about this?” Leia demanded. 

“Your parents, Bail and Breha,” Obi Wan sighed. “Myself and Maul. Luke’s aunt and uncle. Leia, please, you mustn’t think ill of your parents, they only sought to protect you-”

“I don’t think ill of my parents, or you,” Leia interrupted him. “I absolutely think ill of and murderously towards Darth Vader, Prick of the Galaxy, he will die by my hand.”

“Er.”

Leia turned to Maul, a fire in her eyes. “I have lost everything. My home. My planet. My friends and most of my family, all due to the folly of one man and the machinations of the other. I want justice.” She turned and looked at Maul, who was sitting in the corner. “Master Maul.”

“Yes?” Maul rumbled, quickly seeing where this was going and making no effort to stop it.

“You said to me that I would have my taste of blood.”

“I did, yes,” Maul agreed.

“I want to learn how. I would like to learn from you. Teach me your ways, and how I can right the scales of Justice.”

Maul glowed like a new mother who had just delivered (Obi Wan cringed at the image), and stood. “Princess Leia Organa,” Maul grinned, baring all of his teeth, “it would be my honour.”

Obi Wan groaned, and Luke giggled as Leia mimicked Maul’s toothy grin. Somewhere in the heavens, he thought, Padme had just fallen out of her chair and was throwing a fit. Probably.

On the other hand, it would be poetic justice to see Padme’s child take on Sidious with the same tools that he had used to destroy her family.

Obi Wan looked balefully at Luke. “You’re still my good boy, aren’t you?”

Luke smiled and hugged his poor, old, uncle. “Of course I am, Uncle Obi.”

Their moment was ruined by a knock on the door. “Er, hi,” Han’s voice called. “Can I please come into my own room? I need my toothbrush.”

Obi Wan looked around at this little family of his, now grown by one. Perhaps they could survive this war to come.


	6. Feelings Schmeelings

After a quick pitstop on Tatooine to pick up Luke’s harassed aunt and uncle and get Maul’s ship and Obi Wan’s belongings, the crew and passengers of the Falcon headed towards the rebel base on Yavin IV. 

Owen was looking bemusedly at Leia, who was copying Maul’s katas. She had thrown herself into her training, the fire inside her fueling her connection to the Force. “Jumpin’ jawas, but she looks just like her ma, she does,” Owen observed. “All that lava must’ve got into Anakin’s eyes if he couldn’t recognise her.”

“The dark side has ways of blinding us to the truth,” Obi Wan murmured. “Which is why, I hope, that Maul focuses on meditation exercises along with the other evil training.” 

“Oh all right,” Maul grumped, and stopped trying to beat up the twins, whose task was to dodge his attacks. 

Leia and Luke grumbled and went to nurse their bruised bodies, like a couple of angry kittens, still simmering with the dark side. Sensing TMME (Too Much Maul Exposure), Obi Wan hurried over. “Jedi healing,” he said firmly, as the twins skittered over to him. “Focus on the wounds, and draw the energy of your core. Visualize the healthy skin- Maul don’t you dare fall asleep-”

“I can’t help it, you sound like my old nurse droid,” Maul grumbled, sitting back up.

Seeing the twins drop into a peaceful meditation, Obi Wan grinned at his success and left them to nap atop each other, like a couple of baby porglets. 

Bail drifted over to sit beside Obi Wan. “I don’t know how much I like seeing my daughter being enthusiastically attacked by Maul,” he said.

“Well, I didn’t much like it when he was doing it to me either, but if it’s comforting to you, he’s holding back by about 90%.”

Bail turned to look at Maul in horror, who grinned back and winked. Bail shuddered and looked back at Obi Wan. “I heard that he saved your life.”

“He did,” Obi Wan nodded. “I don’t know what came over him.”

“He likes you.”

“Yes, I know. He’s grown on me as well.”

“Obi Wan.”

“Yes?”

“I mean to say that the chap has feelings for you.”

“Oh.” Obi Wan reeled. “This has never happened before.”

“No one has ever loved you before? You poor thing,” Bail said, patting Obi Wan’s hand.

“Don’t be so silly, of course I’ve experienced love before,” Obi Wan grumped. “Just not…”

“Male?”

“Maul.”

Bail sniggered. “He does seem in a class of his own.”

“But what can he possibly see in me?” Obi Wan wondered. “I’m old! My hair is grey. My skin is weatherbeaten by the sun. I dress like Qui Gon.”

“You have lived together for twenty years, Obi Wan,” Bail said gently. “You have grown together, raised a child together. You have broken bread together, every day, and learnt each other’s bodies through battle. Surely you have seen his physique?”

“Daily, he does not wear clothes if he is indoors. He is a nudist,” Obi Wan said. “He says that it is the only benefit of having a cybernetic lower body.”

“He lives with the man who cut him in two,” Bail stressed. “He saved the man who cost him everything. Obi Wan, if that is not love, then what is?”

Obi Wan felt like a fool. Of course it was love. Of course they loved each other. How long had they been doing this ridiculous dance? How many years had they wasted, trading playful jibes, bantering, battling, and trading glancing touches over the firepit? Ah dash it all, now he was blushing. 

He was jarred from his thoughts as Bail elbowed him. “Go get your man, Obi Wan.”

From the corner of his eye, Obi Wan saw Luke and Leia spying on him with wide eyes, no doubt having heard everything. They were watching him now, like a couple of cannock pups (except cuter) piled on top of each other. 

“Maul,” Obi Wan said gently, tapping his (bare) shoulder. Once again, Maul had chosen to forgo clothing. Maul looked up at Obi Wan and grunted. Ah, he was in a good mood. “Could I have a word with you?”

Maul arched an eyebrow, but nodded and followed Obi Wan to the back room, where he summarily kicked Han out again, leaving the man to the mercies of the Terrible Twins. 

“We should talk,” Obi Wan said, unable to hide a small smile. 

“Good news?” Maul asked.

Obi Wan cleared his throat. “I…I can’t thank you enough for saving me. You risked your own life to save mine, in spite of our first meeting, and the lasting wounds that I gave you.”

Maul’s jaw dropped. “Oh no. We are not doing this. You cannot be so stupid as to thank me for saving you. Not after we have been living together as practically husband and wife for the better part of two decades.”

Obi Wan frowned. “I did not realize that you considered us to be married.”

“Aren’t we?” Maul asked. “I’m fairly sure that we are considered common law spouses at this point.”

“I do hope that you are not joking,” Obi Wan said quietly. “It has taken me quite a while to come to this conclusion myself.”

“Come again?” Maul asked, his ears perking up.

Obi Wan blushed. “Well, that is to say,” he blustered, “I have come to realize the extent of my feelings for you. They are deep and true, from the bottom of my heart.”

Maul’s stomach did a little jig. “Is this your oddball way of saying that you are madly in love with me?”

Obi Wan frowned. “I’m not sure I’d put it that way, we are old men now. I think that we need to be more restrained in our affections.”

“No, you’re old,” Maul said. “I’m a Zabrak. My lifespan is almost double yours.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes, the only reason most Zabraks don’t live it out is because they’re always embroiled in some kind of conflict and they keep dying. I knew a guy in the Nightbrother village was a hundred years old, and he was still kicking butt.”

This was definitely news to Obi Wan. “Oh. I wish I’d known that, so I could have made provisions for you in my will.”

“I don’t want your things,” Maul said, “provided that I get to keep the kids.”

“And Anakin.”

“The gizka, I’m assuming.”

“Obviously.”

They stared meaningfully at each other. “Do we kiss now?” Obi Wan asked. 

“Must we?”

“I’m tired.”

“Same. Your elderliness and curmudgeonliness is infectious.”

Obi Wan glared as Maul grinned triumphantly. “Okay, let’s go back out,” Obi Wan said, succumbing to the grin, “or the kids will suspect.”

“What? That they were right all along? Unthinkable.”

The newly minted but long established couple waddled out, only to bump into Han right outside. “Oh my god, you guys seriously just got together? Aren’t you like, seventy?”

“I am not even sixty, egads,” Obi Wan muttered, and ran off. 

Bail grinned devilishly at him when Obi Wan squiggled back into the room. “Deed done?”

“We clarified our positions on the matter.”

“I bet you did.”

“Oh no,” Obi Wan muttered, and ran further away. “Luke, Leia, come here, we are going to meditate and practice throwing things via levitation.”

“Yay!” The twins cheered, and followed happily enough. 

At least some things would never change.

***

Meanwhile, aboard the Death Star…

“So you are saying that Maul is now in league with Kenobi?” Sidious asked, completely bemused.

“It appears so, Master,” Vader replied.

“How involved are they? Is it a passing allyship, or more of an...intimate entanglement?”

“I do not wish to speculate as to the latter, Master,” Vader shuddered. Stupid old Obi Wan who was still stupidly attractive and pulling all the evil Zabraks to his yard and traumatizing Vader. 

“And then there is the boy.”

“He diverted asteroids,” Vader said. “He is uncommonly powerful for one so young.”

“I would expect nothing less from the son of Skywalker,” Sidious said ominously. 

Vader experienced a brief short circuiting. Son of Skywalker! He had a son! But then, Padme had been pregnant with a twin boy and a girl. So where was his daughter? 

Oh no. 

Please no.

Vader groaned. “I am the worst father in the world.”

Sidious grinned terribly. “I’m sure Maul would disagree with you. At least you did not kill your son’s twin brother.”

“There is that,” Vader sighed. “Also, my own daughter has vowed to kill me and dance on my grave, while she ‘laughs and laughs’, I believe she said.”

“Turn them,” Sidious ordered. “They are too powerful together to be left to Kenobi and Maul. Kenobi will poison them against you, and Maul is too chaotic in his actions for me to predict anything. Turn them, Lord Vader, before they become the end of you.”

The implication was very much ‘kill or be killed’, and Vader did not appreciate it in the slightest. Those were his kids, damn it. 

“Yes, Master.”

The connection fizzled out, and Sidious’ hologram vanished, leaving a contemplative Vader in its wake. Darth Vader, or even Anakin Skywalker, were not amongst the great thinkers of the age. Those titles were reserved for beings like Yoda, Qui Gon, and Darth Plagueis The Wise. No, Vader was more of an action-based chap, driven by his environment and emotions. 

In his days as Anakin, he had been affectionately known as a ‘himbo’. 

No one ever called Vader a himbo to his face, but there were definite himbo-esque traits that only his elite guards (now decimated) and personal TIE fighter squadron knew of. Speaking of, he really ought to rebuild his elite guard unit. 

Vader felt a pang of pride as he looked out on the ruined hangar bay where the epic battle had taken place. His children had caused that damage, he thought proudly. How wonderfully dangerous they were!

Sidious could, as the boy Luke had said, ‘get rekt’, Vader decided. He had been denied a family once before, and Vader was not about to lose his chance again. 

Unbeknownst to him, beneath the privacy of his helmet, the inhumanly yellow gleam in Vader’s eyes dimmed just the tiniest amount.

***

Maul felt extremely out of place at the Rebel Alliance meeting. For one thing, Mon Mothma was glaring absolute holes through his head. No doubt she knew of him through Padme’s tales, and he doubted that it cast him in a good light. 

“Master Maul.”

“General,” Maul replied to the woman glaring at him from around his sternum.

“Leia is the child of my heart,” she said stoutly. “I have loved her and given her my guidance through all these years, and I will not have you barging in and twisting her to the Dark.”

“Er.” Maul did not quite know how to break it to the lady that Leia didn’t need much help being Dark, she was a vicious little thing by herself. 

“And I don’t know how you managed to twist Kenobi, but he is a good man with a big-”

Cock. 

“-heart-”

Damn. No juicy daydreams for Maul.

Somewhere in this time, Mon Mothma had finished and was glaring at him again. Maul beat a hasty retreat and sidled up to Obi Wan. “The short lady is being mean to me,” he whinged. 

“Oh hush you,” Obi Wan muttered, patting Maul’s leg as Mon Mothma took her place at the podium. 

“The brave actions of Commander Leia Organa enabled us to have first hand knowledge of the Death Star. This superweapon is a threat to all life, and cannot be abided by. The Rebellion must put an end to it.”

Ackbar took to the stage. “Upon analysis of the schematics, we have found a weak point.” The holo of the Death Star spun so that it revealed a conveniently placed vent. “A well aimed shot down this hatch connects directly to the core,” Ackbar said, “and would overheat it to the point of causing an explosion.

“The plan is this - the Red squadron will be our attack force, while our larger airships will serve as a diversion. The Red squadron will fly and enter the pathway to the vent, firing their missiles and lasers down the hatch.

“If we are successful, then we will have ended the Empire’s stranglehold over the galaxy,” Ackbar said. “Red Squadron, please stand.”

To Obi Wan’s horror, Luke stood, but was quickly pulled down by Maul, who was hissing angrily. “Are you mad, boy!? I did not raise a blasted fool, you sit your arse down and keep it there-”

“Master Maul,” Ackbar said, “young Skywalker has taken the tests required to become a part of the Red Squadron, and has bravely volunteered for this mission-”

“No he hasn’t, he’s a dumbass, he doesn’t know his own name half the time,” Maul said heatedly. 

“The boy is capable of manipulating asteroids, Master Maul,” Mon Mothma said. “I think that he is more than capable of flight.”

“You can lick my ass,” Maul growled, causing people around him to quickly move away, as his tone grew significantly darker. “He’s not going anywhere.”

“Uncle Maul,” Luke said gently, “it’ll be alright.”

“No it won’t you little womp rat, I’ll deal with you in a minute-”

“Uncle Maul,” Luke said again, and this time, Maul looked at Luke properly, seeing a calm radiating off of the boy, “trust me. I’ll be ok.”

When Maul still looked ready to kill, Luke smiled and took his hand. “Uncle Maul, you’ve taught me to overcome the most impossible of circumstances. Didn’t you once tell me that I am from the lineage of Bane, who flew out of Dxun on the back of a drexl? We can do the impossible.”

“I can’t believe that you told him that awful tale as a bedtime story,” Obi Wan seethed. 

Maul ignored Obi Wan, too busy being touched. “You remembered.”

“It was my favourite story,” Luke said. “Please, trust me when I say this. I will be alright. This has to be done.”

Maul nodded. “Fine. Go. Save the galaxy. Cut the Emperor’s ass off.”

Luke beamed and hugged Maul, eliciting several coos from the onlookers, but for once, Maul did not care. “We will be having words,” he growled into Luke’s ear. “You haven’t gotten off yet.”

***

“So,” Maul growled, fixing Luke with a piercing glare. They, along with Obi Wan and Leia, were back in Han’s bedroom aboard the Falcon. At some point, Han and Chewie were accepted as honorary family members, because for once, Han got to be present in his own bedroom for a Kenobi-Maul clan meeting.

“Meep,” Luke squeaked fearfully. 

“Explain why you have decided to use your single brain cell to do the most foolhardy thing in existence?”

“I have to do it!” Luke squealed. “Not to toot my own horn, but if anyone stands a chance at this, it’s me. Besides, I could probably backup some of the fighters if they get into a tight spot. If I can control asteroids, I can probably control the fighters as well.”

“You need practice,” Obi Wan said. “It is one thing to control inanimate rock, but an object under the control of another is a different thing entirely.”

“I’ll practice,” Luke said eagerly. “I’ll make sure to master it before we go on the mission.”

And so Luke’s training started in earnest, while Leia became embroiled in managing the rebel alliance. It became a common sight to see the twins taking their meals together in the mornings, looking like two awfully misshapen peas in a pod, only for Leia to go off to attend to her administrative tasks later, and Luke to go to train with Obi Wan and Maul.

Han usually accompanied Luke, as Luke’s practice consisted of controlling the Falcon while Han was still piloting it.

“If you can control the ship while Solo is at the helm, then you can control a TIE fighter in the heat of battle,” was Maul’s logic. Han was strangely flattered by this, and Obi Wan smiled.

“You’re not wrong, he did just compliment you. He rather likes you, you know.”

“He was literally growling at me yesterday,” Han refuted. 

“He growls at everyone. That’s not an indicator of his feelings.”

Over the next few weeks, Luke’s control over his abilities grew, Maul’s anxiety peaked, and Han became everyone’s emotional support human, particularly the twins’ - or as he called them, Twink and Terror.

When it became too much, Han threw them at Chewie, who was far more maternal than he could ever be. It was not uncommon to see some of the younger rebels ensconced in Chewie’s furry embrace while he howled comforting words at them.

Finally, the day came that the rebels decided to attack the Death Star. Leia had eschewed meditation in favour of hacking through various katas with Maul, while Obi Wan helped Luke get centered through more peaceful meditation. A small delegation of rebels were set to travel to the Yavin IV system, to hopefully attract the attention of the imperials, whereupon the Red squadron would engage the Death Star.

In order to attract the ire of the empire, several of the top brass of the rebellion had volunteered to go - Mon Mothma, Bail Organa, and Leia being amongst them. Leia had firmly put her foot down about going, and said that if her twin brother was going to be facing death, then by god, they could perish together.

Han and Chewie went along as well, to play bait. 

The rebels had slapped a banner atop the Falcon that read “The Emperor Licks Ass” and sent Hand Chewie gallivanting off into space to attract the attention of the Death Star.

Hopefully, it would bring trouble.

***

Meanwhile, onboard the Death Star…

“Lord Vader? I think that there’s something weird going on.”

Darth Vader sighed and looked up from where he was talking to Grand Moff Tarkin (awful little worm) to peer at his little ensign. “Ensign Porloo, you are an Imperial soldier. Use the proper terminology, if you would.”

“Oh, er,” Porloo stuttered, “Lord Vader, there is...an unprecedented occurrence...that requires your attention,” he finished, looking proud of himself.

Vader shook his head and looked down at the screen Porloo was holding up, and quickly recognized the Millenium Falcon. He peered closer at the trail of cloth behind it, and bit down on his tongue.

Don’t laugh, Vader, he thought to himself frantically. Do not laugh, Vader, you have a reputation to uphold.

Meanwhile, Ensign Porloo was sweating. “M- my lord? Your orders?”

Vader fixed him with a baleful glare underneath the helmet. “My orders, Porloo, are for you to get my flight team in gear and ready for dispatch. This is clearly a trap leading to an ambush.”

Vader watched as Porloo scuttled away. Despite all odds, he rather liked the little ensign. He hoped that Porloo would survive the battles to come - he did hate having to scrounge for new assistants. 

Darth Vader swept across the floor to the deck and tapped on an officer’s shoulder. “Track that ship,” he said calmly. 

“Sure thing, Lord Vader,” the officer yipped. Vader sighed. Why were people so happy and chirpy around him? It was as though they knew that he was once Anakin The Himbo. Vader stayed by the officer until he looked up again. “Lord Vader, we have tracked the ship to the planet of Yavin IV. The ship is orbiting the planet at it’s northern pole.”

“Get me an image of the pole,” Tarkin butted in, and directed the officer. A minute later, Tarkin was looking incredulously at what appeared to be a rebel base. “Well, well, well. It appears that we have located some rebel scum. Porloo,” Tarkin barked, addressing the returning ensign, “tell me, what do we do to a planet that hosts rebel scum?”

Porloo bit his lip. He did so hate talking to Tarkin, it always made Lord Varder extra mean. “C-capture the rebels without harm to the civilians, sir?”

Tarkin sighed. “Porloo, we are aboard the Death Star. Take another guess.”

Porloo meeped unhappily. “Oh, sir, are we going to destroy another planet? It’s ever so awful sir, and it turns the sentiment of the citizens of the empire against us.”

Next to an incredulous Tarkin, Vader was beaming in the safety of his helmet. Clever little Porloo. 

“Also it gives us raging headaches, sir,” Porloo continued, as a couple of officers also looked up and nodded along. “It gave El-Triss a nosebleed the last time you used the Death Star.”

Vader looked at Porloo and El-Triss, the Death Star’s lead technician. Were these two exhibiting latent force sensitivity? Unbelievable. 

Tarkin, however, was an unperceptive bitch. “I care not for the troubles of you little poop deck swabbers! Aim the laser cannon at Yavin IV! It will bear the punishment for daring to shelter rebel scum!” He shrieked. 

“Er, sirs, we have an incoming transmission from Yavin IV,” a communications officer called unsurely. 

“How did they manage to patch into the Death Star?” Tarkin barked.

“Erm, hackers, probably, sir,” the officer quavered. 

“Patch them through,” Vader directed, before Tarkin could explode at the young man. 

The holo projector activated, and the image of Princess Leia Organa shimmered to life. “Hello, bootlickers,” she grinned.

“You,” Tarkin growled, his eyes popping. 

Leia’s eyes shifted and took on a dark look. “Well, well. Grand Muff Tarkin,” she snipped. Vader muffled a snicker. Oh, she was good. “It looks like it’s payback time for you. I am going to rejoice as I set fire to your bones and-”

Vader could see Tarkin struggling to keep his composure as Leia detailed all the ways in which she would extract her vengeance from him for his actions in destroying Alderaan. Honestly, she was so vicious. 

He was a proud daddy.

“-dance and dance and dance upon the diminishing embers of your worthless body,” Leia finished savagely. Vader beamed under his helmet. He had longed to do the same to Tarkin many times. 

“You have played your hand too soon, Princess,” Tarkin oozed. “With your presence, you will see Yavin IV destroyed. Yet another planet paying the price for the rebellion,” he snickered.

Leia could have breathed fire at that moment, and Vader wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. After all, he didn’t know who his own father was (mum had always said there wasn’t but he studied biology), and he could have well been a hybrid. A very good looking hybrid, no thanks to Obi Wan and that lava river. 

(He wasn’t, he was just a weird human).

Instead, Leia smirked back. “Challenge accepted, dipweed. The rebellion will see the Death Star burn for what it did to Alderaan, and I personally will see to it that you go down with it.” With that, the transmission ended, and Tarkin turned to Vader.

“What can she possibly hope to do? The rebels’ best ships are no match for the Death Star.”

“You don’t need the best ships when you literally have the schematics for the entire Death Star, which they do,” Vader pointed out. “You need strategy. And immense amounts of luck. Possibly a boy who could move asteroids in the vacuum of space. Again, all of these are things which the rebels have.”

As Tarkin stared, gobsmacked, Vader sighed. “Porloo.”

“Yessir, Lord Vader sir!”

“Prepare my TIE fighter. Alert my personal squadron to be ready to fly at a moment’s notice. This is going to be an aerial battle.”

“Yessir!” Porloo said, running off. 

Meanwhile, Tarkin turned back to the technician. “Technician El-Triss.” 

“Yes sir,” El-Triss said, snapping to attention.

“Check over the laser cannon. I want it prepped to fire on Yavin IV in one hour.”

El-Triss gulped, but nodded. “Yes sir,” he said, hoping that his voice did not betray his absolute dismay at the situation. 

Tarkin stared at the incoming rebel fighters. If it was a battle that they wanted, then a battle they would get.

***

Meanwhile, Porloo and El-Triss have a discussion that changes the course of history…

Ensign Deven Porloo fidgeted unhappily as he walked over to El-Triss, who was mechanically checking over the Death Star’s main laser cannon. He was blissfully alone.

“Heyo Dev,” El-Triss grunted. 

“Oh, Amaly,” Porloo sighed, using El-Triss’ first name, “what a to do this is.”

“You said it,” El-Triss replied. “Another planet about to go up in flames because of someone else’s beef.”

“What happened to Alderaan was awful,” Porloo whispered quietly, hanging his head. “I couldn’t get it out of my head for a week. Just the image of the wreckage afterwards, I remember seeing a body float past the window, y’know? The poor chap didn't get away far enough in time, and he was just staring at me…”

El-Triss gulped. “They’re going to murder anoher planet,” he whispered. “Dev, I had cousins on Alderaan. I don’t know if they made it out.”

From within himself, Porloo found the stirrings of a courage and defiance that he did not know that he possessed. “Amaly.”

“Yeah?”

“H- how much do you want to do the right thing?”

El-Triss looked up at Porloo’s wide, hopeful, strangely purple eyes. “What?”

“Are you willing to do the right thing?” Porloo asked. “Even though nobody will ever know?”

“What are you suggesting?” El-Triss whispered harshly.

Porloo straightened, a steel in his eye that was more commonly found in veterans of great wars, not eighteen year old ensigns. “I’m suggesting that we give the rebels a chance. And you’re the only one who can do it.”

El-Triss felt his breath catch. To do the right thing...would it absolve him of his sins? If there was even a chance for it…”Dev, I- I don’t want to die.”

“How long can we live like this though?” Porloo asked. 

El-Triss sobered quickly. “Not long.” He sighed. “Fine. We’ll do it. We’ll give them a fighting chance, for what it’s worth.”

In the silence that followed, actions and agreements were struck that would change the course of history forever.

***

In the vacuum of space, Red squadron was facing their most difficult test. They dodged and swerved as Vader’s own fighting force descended upon them, firing mercilessly. 

In his own fighter, Luke stifled a scream as he saw his comrade go up in flames. “We’ve lost Red Seven,” Wedge’s gruff confirmation came. “We need someone to take his place, he was closest to the vent.”

“I’ll go,” Biggs - Red Three - called. Luke felt his heart leap at his childhood best friend’s voice. “Red Five, cover me, yeah?”

“On it,” Luke called back. Together, they flew towards the Death Star, with Luke covering Biggs, helping fire on the imperials before they could get to Biggs. It was not to be, however. 

“Red Five!” Biggs’ voice crackled through, “Luke, my shields are down!”

With dawning horror, Luke realized what it meant. Biggs was a sitting duck. “Red Three, get back to base-”

“We’re too close now, you have to go ahead, I’ll cover you.”

“Biggs! No!” Luke cried, even though he knew that it was the only way. 

It seemed that even their leader had done the math. “Red Five, go,” Wedge Antilles’ - Red Two’s - voice came shortly. “Red Three.”

“Yes commander?”

“It’s been an honour,” the terse statement broadcasted to all of the ships. Luke took his chance and dived for the vent system of the Death Star, even as he saw Biggs’ fighter twist towards the TIE fighters, firing on them.

Luke barrelled down the narrow chasm leading to the promised vent, and distantly, he knew that Biggs had gone. A second later, Red Two’s confirmation came through. “Red Three down.” Battling the tears in his eyes, Luke flew on. They were so close…

Luke looked back at Wedge’s ship, alone amongst a swarm of imperial TIE fighters. He couldn’t abandon Wedge, not now- 

Then, out of nowhere, twin pulses of green laser bolts cut a swath through the imperials, freeing Wedge to fly away to safety. Luke gasped as he saw a well loved vessel rejoin the battle.

The Falcon was joining the fight. 

“Aw hell yeah, eat laser you imperial swine,” Han yelled triumphantly, high fiving Chewie. “Nice shooting, princess!” He called aboe him, where Leia was giggling merrily. 

Luke smiled, his spirits buoyed by the sight of his friends. No doubt Leia was on board, firing indiscriminately at as many imperials as she could - her favourite pastime. 

Suddenly, Luke veered to the right, driven by instinct. He gasped as he realized that the Force had directed his movements, just enough to help escape Darth Vader’s lasers. “Oh flippity finknuzzles,” Luke bit out, shocked at his own vocabulary. 

In his own fighter, Vader cackled. What excellent flying his son showed! Truly a chip off the old sandblock. 

And so began the not-so-merry chase, as Luke twisted and flipped his way around the chasm, while Vader pursued like a determined coyote. “Oh Force,” Luke whispered, “we’re so close…”

Back on Yavin IV, Obi Wan was trying to meditate to calm his nerves. Maul had given up entirely, and was getting on an X Wing himself to join the fight, only to be stopped by Ackbar, whom he then called a squid-head. 

It was Obi Wan who managed to reach Luke first, though. Luke, he called through the force, Luke, let the Force guide your actions. Let the Force flow through you, like the heat of the twin suns at home, let it’s warmth settle into you and guide your thoughts-

Up in space, Luke squealed in shock because suddenly Uncle Obi was in his head. 

-Luke you absolute ditz, let the Force work through you, just you wait, I’m coming up there-

Oh great, now Uncle Maul was butting in.

-Luke, Ben’s gentle voice came again, Luke, let go…

Taking a deep breath, Luke let the Force wash over him, surrendering his body to the all encompassing power. His eyes closed as It washed over him like a gentle breeze, and settled like a warm blanket over him, calming him and giving him the clarity he so desperately needed. 

Luke’s eyes snapped open again, and saw....everything. Every eventually, every possibility, every victory. Luke smiled, and latching onto the vision of victory, took a hard left. Behind him, Vader cursed, barely avoiding crashing into the wall that Luke had just dodged. He realized with a deep horror what the boy was aiming for the unguarded vent.

The Death Star was going to blow.

Even as Vader realized this, Luke fired, sending a flurry of bolts down the vent shaft, and hitting true in the Death Star’s reactor core, overheating it. Mission accomplished Luke pulled up. “Red Squadron pull back,” Luke called. “I repeat, pull back. Mission accomplished.”

The same time as Luke was relaying his message of victory, Vader was transmitting his own message to his Black Squadron. “Black Squadron, get out of the Death Star’s proximity! It’s going to blow! I repeat-”

Aboard the doomed Death Star, Tarkin heard Vader’s message and cursed. “They won’t win this,” he vowed, and looked at his quaking commander. “Commander Yontu, is the cannon at full charge?”

“Yes sir,” the clipped answer came.

They wouldn’t win this. The rebels would not get to savour this victory. “Then fire on Yavin IV.”

Tarkin took a breath and stared down at the planet below him, knowing that death was coming to it as surely as it was for him. He paid scant notice to the officers scattering around him running for escape pods. They did not matter now.

“Sir, the escape pods are deploying-”

“I care not, Yontu,” Tarkin hummed at the doomed man next to him, unable to move due to his unlucky proximity to Tarkin. “What matters now is just this,” he said, pointing to the charge indicator building up in the laser. 95%....96%....

95%...

“What!” Tarkin roared, as he watched the charge of the laser decrease. 94%...93%...

Yontu made a break for it, whacking himself into an escape pod with two other blokes. “Hello Filo,” Deven Porloo said gaily from where he was squished up next to El-Triss, who grimaced.

The escape pod released, flinging the trio into the safe abyss of space. It was only then that Yontu began to put two and two together.

“El-Triss,” he said slowly, “you checked the cannon’s specs.”

“Call me Amaly,” El-Triss said. “We’re all chums here, aren’t we?”

Yontu stared. “Amaly.”

“Yes?”

“You checked the cannon specs.”

“Well,” El-Triss smiled wryly, “I wouldn’t quite use that term.”

“Oh, he was so brave!” Porloo squeaked, grabbing El-Triss’ arm. “He sabotaged the awful thing! He saved a whole planet!”

“Aw shucks,” El-Triss said, but did not deny Porloo’s starry-eyed praise.

Yontu gaped. “Well, I- that is to say-” He looked up at the Death Star, now spitting escape pods left and right, before going up in flames itself. It was a sight to behold, the first vessel of it’s kind, burnt to a crisp. Yontu then looked at Yavin IV, which was still spinning, serene and full of life. 

Yontu nodded. “It’s just as well, I suppose.”

***

From his TIE fighter, Vader saw the Death Star go up in flames, and burst into a final, catastrophic explosion. He turned on his communicator to the remaining members of Black Squadron. 

“Lord Vader, your orders?” A small, subdued voice asked. 

Vader contemplated his situation. “Do we have enough fuel for a hyperspace jump?”

“Yes sir.”

“And what is the closest planet if we take the jump?”

“Um…” There was a pause as the pilot did the calculations. “Tatooine, sir.”

Argh. Vader could already feel the sand in his suit.

“Very well. Set course for Tatooine.”

And with a wink of hyperspace, they were gone.


End file.
